Sunday, March 2, 2008

I Cried Last Night...

Just a few tears.

Watching The Wire, I had to wipe a few wet spots from my cheek. It's not that I'm particularly sensitive, it's just that the show hit me that hard.

It hurt me to watch children make adult decisions. I know loyal viewers of The Wire would say that this wasn't the first time that happened, but it felt different to me.

Watching Michael, Dukie and Bug deal with the rapidly changing trajectory of the their lives shocked me. No child should have to make those types of decisions, no child deserves that type of life. Even though I know it's just a television show, I couldn't shake the feeling that it was real somewhere in this world.

Somewhere kids are making those types of decisions.

I carried my son to his crib Sunday night. He'd had a hard time getting to sleep, it was a busy weekend at my parent's house. He'd cried, whined and grunted, but he finally put himself to sleep drinking a bottle.

As I walked him to his room, curled up against my chest, I looked down into his face.

He was smiling.

In his sleep, his little mouth curled into a smile and then a silent laugh. He's done that before, and I always say that he's talking to angels, but last night was different.

Last night I wondered how many kids in the world never smile in their sleep. I wondered how many kids have never been carried to their cribs by their parents, how many kids have been adults since their birth.

The Wire touched that part of me as a parent and just as a human. In my son's innocent smile, I saw the absence of joy in so many lives. In his comfort, I saw those children's pain.

I ache for those children. I hate myself for not being able to improve their lives. I hate a world where they suffer the way they do.

But, all I did was cry a few tears....

8 comments:

Lolo said...

One episode before the finale and we had our tissue box ready. It's the telling moments in Simon's stories that twist your heart and tonight was packed, for me. By the time Michaal told Duq that he didn't remember the balloons I was choked up and fighing hard to hold back but oh, once Duq started walking down that alley to the junk man shooting up ... tears were rolling.

I was so eager for a little bit of relief that just seeing Namond up there, hearing Bubs give his one year speech, knowing that Michael was doing what was best for Bug, these moments are the closest to "happy" endings that we'll get and you know, there are too many lives in which this holds true.

I do believe that I'm going to have something in my glass handy when next sunday night comes.

ME said...

Another fantastic second-to-last episode. Ugh. Next week should be quite a ride.

Big Man said...

I tried to fight the tears like you Lolo, but that last scene with Dukie was too much.

Plus, Michael didn't even hug his own brother goodbye. Can you imagine a child that hard?

This show was an amazing emotional journey.

Curious said...

So with all this tearing up about drug dealers, corrupt politicians and dodgy policemen, is it really worth going back to the beginning to watch the whole series so I can get what you guys are talking about? Or is it like the Soprano's where you can jump in the middle and still figure out what's going on because the story line may or may not get resolved anyway.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

man i aint never seen the wire i say i am, but i need cable dont I?

Lolo said...

curious, you really should watch from the beginning. It takes a bit, this is a show that almost demands patience to get to the money shots but oh, it's well worth it.

I know, us fans of this show sound crazy and cultish what with all this crying over dealers and thugs and junkies but it's not like that. The fact that they can make us CARE about these characters, without glossing any of the damage they do, is nothing short of amazing.

That's some story telling, and for that alone you deserve to watch the whole thing.

Big Man said...

I'm not crying over thugs and drug dealers, I'm crying over people.

That's what The Wire reminds all of us, that the people engaged in the drug game are just people. They do evil things, but they are still people.

As someone who knows cats who've made bad decisions, this resonates with me. It's easy to reduce someone to a single negative aspect of their lives, but The Wire doesn't allow that. That's why it's so great.

rap music said...

don't feel bad.. I'll cry on a cartoon

Raving Black Lunatic