Tuckered Out

I don't know about y'all, but this angry lunatic is tired.

Man, this whole election thing is starting to seem like a bad dream. Every day brings another surreal example of the lack of progress our country has made in the battle for racial equality, and just when it seems like we're all finally waking up, the nightmare continues.

I feel beat down.

And that's truly saying something because I'm the type of cat who used to read the most racist message boards just to keep that righteous anger intact. I used to get into ideological debates with hardcore bigots just to make sure I was keeping my debating skills sharp. I wasn't interested in winning converts, I was just interested in scoring points.

But, Obama went and messed all that up.

Now I'm trying to be conciliatory and understanding. I find myself turned off by never ending debates that seem to serve no purpose. When I watch everybody divide up into their race-based camps it doesn't invigorate me with the desire to bust some heads anymore. Instead, it leaves me with an overwhelming sense of sadness that my son will probably have to argue with the same types of folks when he comes of age.

It's gotten to the point where I'm just checking for political news out of habit and fear, not out of any sincere desire to learn something new. When I started this blog in January I was convinced that I would never get tired of telling people what I think about everything. But, as this blog has become more and more about politics it's become a big drain on my psyche. I wanted to write about race, politics, sports, religion and anything else that crossed my path.

But, I seem to have gotten sidetracked by the Obama train.

Look, I love dude for making a credible run for president, but this whole enterprise is starting to wear thin. Not because of anything he did, but because his attempt to get the most powerful political job in this country has forced a racial accounting that I don't think anybody was ready to deal with.

I wasn't caught unawares because I had some sort of rosy outlook on the world. My momma's tit was filled with militancy and righteous black anger.

But, I think that as a black man I had divorced myself from caring about what happened in America because I never believed that I was a full participant in this society. It was easy for me to remain ignorant about most foreign and domestic issues because I just knew they would have little effect on my reality. I don't suffer under that delusion any longer and I must confess that being involved is a heavy burden to bear.

However, I'm going to keep on, keeping on because I don't have much choice. Not only am I a citizen, I'm a parent. As a parent, I have a responsibility to fight for something better for my son just like my ancestors fought for opportunity for me.

I'm probably not going to be following the campaign as closely on my blog, and I hope that I can still entertain the readers who check me out everyday. There will still be frequent posts about Obama, particularly once we get into the general election, but the NBA playoffs are heating up and a brother is going to be knee deep in basketball pretty soon.

Know matter how tired I might be, like most black people, I've got a ways to go before I can rest.