Monday, March 24, 2008

Tuckered Out

I don't know about y'all, but this angry lunatic is tired.

Man, this whole election thing is starting to seem like a bad dream. Every day brings another surreal example of the lack of progress our country has made in the battle for racial equality, and just when it seems like we're all finally waking up, the nightmare continues.

I feel beat down.

And that's truly saying something because I'm the type of cat who used to read the most racist message boards just to keep that righteous anger intact. I used to get into ideological debates with hardcore bigots just to make sure I was keeping my debating skills sharp. I wasn't interested in winning converts, I was just interested in scoring points.

But, Obama went and messed all that up.

Now I'm trying to be conciliatory and understanding. I find myself turned off by never ending debates that seem to serve no purpose. When I watch everybody divide up into their race-based camps it doesn't invigorate me with the desire to bust some heads anymore. Instead, it leaves me with an overwhelming sense of sadness that my son will probably have to argue with the same types of folks when he comes of age.

It's gotten to the point where I'm just checking for political news out of habit and fear, not out of any sincere desire to learn something new. When I started this blog in January I was convinced that I would never get tired of telling people what I think about everything. But, as this blog has become more and more about politics it's become a big drain on my psyche. I wanted to write about race, politics, sports, religion and anything else that crossed my path.

But, I seem to have gotten sidetracked by the Obama train.

Look, I love dude for making a credible run for president, but this whole enterprise is starting to wear thin. Not because of anything he did, but because his attempt to get the most powerful political job in this country has forced a racial accounting that I don't think anybody was ready to deal with.

I wasn't caught unawares because I had some sort of rosy outlook on the world. My momma's tit was filled with militancy and righteous black anger.

But, I think that as a black man I had divorced myself from caring about what happened in America because I never believed that I was a full participant in this society. It was easy for me to remain ignorant about most foreign and domestic issues because I just knew they would have little effect on my reality. I don't suffer under that delusion any longer and I must confess that being involved is a heavy burden to bear.

However, I'm going to keep on, keeping on because I don't have much choice. Not only am I a citizen, I'm a parent. As a parent, I have a responsibility to fight for something better for my son just like my ancestors fought for opportunity for me.

I'm probably not going to be following the campaign as closely on my blog, and I hope that I can still entertain the readers who check me out everyday. There will still be frequent posts about Obama, particularly once we get into the general election, but the NBA playoffs are heating up and a brother is going to be knee deep in basketball pretty soon.

Know matter how tired I might be, like most black people, I've got a ways to go before I can rest.

6 comments:

Lolo said...

Bless your heart, Big Man. I hear you and I do think I understand. Feeling similar here too and I think it's a very healthy thing for you to take a break and focus on you and yours and what brings you pleasure because that brings joy and comfort which also brings strength.

Things aren't that good in many ways but I believe that if you can touch love, have work, feel joy, that it counts for enough to make the uphill climb worth the ache.

I hope you do keep blogging because you've got a good sense of how ridiculous and sublime this world is.

WNG said...

I'm not blogging today - just visiting and answering comments on my blog from Saturday. I need a break - a rest - a something. But I'll be back, probably with less politics (and more shoes). We all understand, I think, how hard it can be to be involved sometimes.

Christina Springer said...

I hear you also Big Man. That's why I had to take a moment and breathe. Today some of the blogosphere will be blogging for justice. I've said my piece. Tonight, I will take my son to a peace vigil. I will be thankful not to be at a keyboard, but, in the streets.

Truthiz said...

LOL!...truthiz, I reached that tipping point back in Feb., following "Super Tuesday". I never wanted to smack 2 people MORE than I wanted to smack Bill and Hillary Clinton!...combined with silly-azz mistakes and mis-steps that were being made by Obama and his people__

Well, let's just say I decided to "check myself BEFORE I wrecked myself"_lol!

By the time the primaries in Texas and Ohio rolled around, cable news networks, "SWAMP" pundits and reich-wing nutjobs had long been silenced in my home.

These days I'm much more laid-back about the highs and lows of Obama's campaigns. Call it "Faith"...and give me internet blogs and Black "Talk" radio anyday!

Deacon Blue said...

When I saw the "Tuckered Out" headline, I was certain you were going to be railing on Tucker Carlson, but that's probably just because my wife has been ranting about him for a couple days about just how idiotic he is.

But yes, please do give your mind a little rest from the politics, Big Man. We all need a rest sometimes.

Lolo said...

http://www.theunapologeticmexican.org/elgrito/2008/03/shining_gleaming_streaming_flaxen_waxen.html
It's going around, I guess we can call it Politricks Flu.

Raving Black Lunatic