Good Negro Down

Katt Williams is a popular comedian with a short stature and a big mouth.

With his slickly processed hair and glib tongue, he seems to fit the pimp persona he deploys in his comedic routines. One of the most popular phrases from his first nationally televised show was "Pimp down!," a phrase the diminutive jokester claimed to have used when knocked to the ground during a fight.

Collectively, I believe most of the Negro community is now yelling "Good Negro down!."

From all accounts, Barack Obama is a good Negro. He's educated, clean, articulate, friendly and ambivalent about race. Obama graduated from Harvard and Columbia, doesn't have a baby's momma and has stayed off welfare his entire adult life. Sure, he smoked a little weed and snorted some coke in college, but he doesn't have cornrows and none of his teeth shine.

Clear characteristics of a good Negro.

Obama doesn't remind people about racism. He's not one of those angry Negroes who sits by themselves in the cafeteria. He gets it. As one of his colleagues in the state legislator noted, Obama doesn't make white people feel more white. He actually transcends race.

For a long time, Obama had achieved the highest echelons of Negro life as many white voters proudly proclaimed they had actually forgotten that he was a Negro.

He understood the rules.

Rule 1. A Negro looking for success should never discuss the entrenched racism in America and must never insinuate that he worked harder than a white person to achieve his present position in life.

Rule 2. A Negro should never become angry at racist comments or attribute those comments to the racist beliefs of the speaker or those agreeing with the speaker. No Negro is mentally equipped to identify racism.

Rule 3. Racism is a myth perpetuated by angry Negroes who do not want to work. If immigrants can make it, everybody can be successful.

There are many more rules, but Obama has managed to keep them all. He hasn't fallen into the traps laid by corrupting forces who would force him to make reparations or discrimination a central part of his campaign. He's avoided the tempations of Evil Negroes like Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and Louis Farrakhan who love to talk about the "race problem." Obama understands the big picture. Hell, he's almost white.

But, sometimes almost just is not good enough if you truly want to be an unhyphenated American.

See, Hillary Clinton and her supporters have broken the spell that the Magical Negro named Obama initially cast over the electorate. By reminding angry white voters that "the blacks" regularly steal jobs they don't deserve, sell drugs to innocent white kids and love to play the victim, Clinton has placed Obama's Good Negro status on life support. After all, even if he has similar political qualifications to FDR, Teddy Roosevelt and Woodrow Wilson, he's still a Negro. And, it's indisputable that Negroes are never qualified for a job that a white person wants.

Never.

Consequently, Obama is now scrambling to get his campaign back on track.

This development has perplexed the many Typical Negroes who support Obama in overwhelming numbers. They have watched him follow all the rules, they have watched him avoid all the pitfalls, and yet, he seems to be getting treated like a Bad Negro. It's as if no matter what a Negro does, he can never wipe away the stain of bad negritude. It waits around ever corner, ready to brand him as "one of them."

Many Typical Negroes are upset by this development. After all, most of them readily admit that they have not managed to follow the Good Negro script as well as Obama. They often slip up and discuss racism as a systemic problem, not a collection of personal anecdotes. They can't seem to avoid pointing out the enduring effects of past discrimination on the current plight of Negroes.

In fact, most Typical Negroes cannot go a single day without forcing white people to remember that they are Negroes. They just don't get it.

Typical Negroes are worried because if Obama's perfection is not protection enough from being branded a Bad Negro, what hope do they have? How can they every be considered solely on their merits? How can they ever be considered qualified if Obama failed? What do they tell their children?

A Good Negro is down, and Black People are confused.