Wednesday, February 27, 2008

A Departure

Nothing today about Obama or Hillary or white people or even about race---well I might mention race.

Nope today we're talking about something more positive.

My son.

I love that little sucker. He came into the world in May of last year and I'll tell y'all, shit has never been the same. That cute little poop machine has changed the whole dynamic in my marriage and greatly affected my life.

You know what my son does when he's mad? He likes to grunt really, really loudly like he's trying to pass a huge turd. I mean the veins in this cat's neck start bulging and his throat is rumbling and he's the epitome of pissed off. Lately, he's even taken to waving his arms around and intermittently yelping to get people to pay more attention to his grunting. He's like some sort of constipated dog.

But, man is that shit cute.

In recent weeks, the Little Man has learned to crawl and he's scooting all over the place in my house. Sometimes when I come in the house through the garage door I find him waiting for me at the door into the house because he crawled over there after he heard the automatic garage door open. If we take a nap together he likes to wake me up by trying eat my eyebrows or cheeks. He only has two teeth, but those suckers are sharper than knives.

My son makes me look at other children differently. In the mall or grocery store I tend to smile more at strange kids, wondering what type of little quirks they have. For most men it's a strict no-no to even acknowledge strange kids for fear of somebody hitting you with a pervert charge, but sometimes I feel like mothers can tell that I'm a parent too.

Strangely enough, these days I'm often harder on the parents of bad-ass kids than I was when I was childless. It particularly pisses me off when other parents fail to rein their kids in, not just because it invades my personal space but because I can't help wondering about the future effect on the children. However, I feel so much more empathy for single mothers because I see just how hard their jobs really are. I mean, if my wife and I are struggling despite our combined energy and resources, I can't even imagine what it's like out in this world on your own.

Some of my most peacful moments are watching my son sleep.

Some of my most stressful moments are watching my son sleep.

I love rubbing his belly with my face and making him giggle and squirm. I can't help by laugh when he responds to my determined scolding with his disarming laugh.

My son has quickly assumed the third most important position in my life behind only my God and my wife. And she better watch out because he's gunning for her spot.

Little man is a blessing.

My wife asked me the other day if I think that the world will be a better place for our son if Barack Obama becomes the President of the United States. I laughed at her naivete, and chastised her for thinking that Obama will be some sort of savior.

Secretly I hope she's right.


Lolo said...

Bless your little man. I know what you speak of when you say that you secretly hope that he might be some sort of saviour but I'm so old and cynical at times that ... well, you know. He is a politician, after all. ::wink::

It's hard, reconciling and listening to all sides of my nature. The hopeful one and the experienced one, the sceptic and the believer, the logician and the dreamer. At the end of each day though, that's what I believe many of us are, that bundle of complexities and it's plain that you are too.

That's what your child has to guide him and teach him and that is no small thing, as you well know. It's right to hope that he will have yet one more proof of aspiration and accomplishment and belief. Ultimately, that is what our heroes provide us, embodiment of shared purpose and determination that the best of our nature will prevail.

Ferocious Kitty said...

Awww...what a sweet tribute to your Little Man!

I catch myself praying as much for other people's kids as I do my own Little Ladies, praying/hoping that other parents are working as hard as I am trying to, to give the world two creative, compassionate, productive citizens.

I'm thankful for fellow parents like you.


Big Man said...

Thanks for the nice comments y'all.

Christina Springer said...

It's lovely to see men take the time to write about their sons. It is especially important for Black men to write about the love they feel for their sons.

Today must have been "love your precious child day." I found myself in that place, as well. After I'd finished writing - I thought - oh boy....what will the Big Man be writing in 2 years? And that gave me a moment to pause and feel introspective. Then - I laughed and laughed and laughed.

And the media worries about Black children. I don't. I know too many parents who are making positive choices.

Saint Lucian Dutch Canadian said...

That was such a touching tribute to your son...I was like, "Awwwww". Now you are making me look forward to having children... :) BTW I love the critical analysis of the election and Hillbilly on your blog...

Big Man said...

I appreciate the compliment Saint.

Raving Black Lunatic