You Wanna Fight?

So, Hillary Clinton is Rocky Balboa now.

I'm sure most of you have heard how she compared herself to the Italian Stallion at a recent campaign rally and noticed the way it made the collective media scream with delight. Actually, given the storylines her campaign has tried to advance this primary season, I'm not surprised by this turn of events.

Rocky was a rough and tumble street fighter who wasn't afraid to battle anyone for his chance at success. He overcame amazing odds to ascend to the pinnacle of his profession, and fought serious adversity his entire life. His story, fictional as it is, represents the mainstream American Dream, the dream that Hillary believes she embodies.

Only, Rocky was a few other things that Hillary might not remember.

As I recall, Balboa was a former street thug whose boxing style was built on the tactics he once used to collect on bad debts for Mafia types. While Balboa trained and fought hard for his title shot, he actually lost to Apollo Creed the first time around.

Then, when he finally did become heavyweight champion, he mismanaged his money so badly he had to do exhibition matches with pro wrestlers. He also lost his title because he was lazy and ill-prepared before regaining momentum after being learning some new tactics from his more talented black friend. In the end, Balboa watched that friend die and became a shuffling trainer whose last two "fights" were as implausible as Bush's claims about Saddam's weapons of mass destruction.

Sound familiar?

I can't be the only person who remembers just how effed up Rocky's life actually became. By the time his career was over, Rocky was a broke and shuffling caricature of his former self. He clung stubbornly to the past because he was ill-equipped to handle the changing times.

And this is the guy Hillary wants to be compared to?

Wait, you mean Hillary only wants to focus on the positive aspects of the Rocky movies and ignore the reality of what happened? No, that can't be right. Hillary would never willingly cling to a falsehood to bolster her political campaign, would she?

Actually she would, and it's no surprise she picked the most hackneyed comparison in the world to use as her campaign's theme in Pennsylvania. IIn fact, her push for the presidency has really been an unending loop of the worst aspects of American politics spliced with random lies that sound true.

In every possible way, Hillary Clinton is Rocky Balboa. A mediocre, fictional fighter propped up by the insecurities of mainstream America and determined to satisfy this country's desire for lies that taste like candy.

Go ahead, climb those steps champ.