Wednesday, April 2, 2008

A Racist Scorned

Being a Good Negro is a difficult business.

The constant pressure of appeasing massa and them while trying not to get your ass-whipped by a damn Field Negro can age a Good Negro faster than picking cotton. Keeping white folks happy is damn near a full-time job by itself, but when you add on the responsibility of trying placate these angry militants, well ain't nobody said getting to White Heaven would be easy.

Condi Rice, also known as George Bush's play wife, has held the title of greatest Good Negro in America for quite some time. As a child of segregated Alabama who rose to the highest echelons of the Republican party, Rice has been been that special Negro friend all conservatives can hold up to prove they aren't racist. An impeccable dresser with an Ivy League education who can speak fluent Russian, Rice is not only qualified for her job, but she still admits that she benefited from Affirmative Action. More importantly, Rice is now on the fence about whether Affirmative Action is a good thing!

She's what all Good Negroes can only aspire to be; a Great Negro.

In her position of prominence, Rice has typically avoided confronting white folks with the unvarnished truth about America's racist past because there's nothing white folks hate more than a historical Negro. She has even said that she never really felt the sting of segregation in her childhood.

While Rice was referring to the way her parents shielded her from the worst injustices, most conservative white folks have used that as proof that all that fuss about dogs and water hoses was overblown.

Unfortunately, Rice recently made a decision that has brought her Great Negress status into severe jeopardy. When recently asked by a conservative newspaper to discuss American race relations in the aftermath of Magical Negro Barack Obama's speech on race and religion, Rice behaved like pernicious pickaninny and actually said that racism was America's "birth defect." She then had the audacity to call nigras a "founding population".

For proof of her betrayal of all that white folks deem holy, please read here.

Benedict Rice's action are stupefying. She has been welcomed on to the back porch of the big house like no Negress before her, and yet, she has behaved like an ungrateful tar baby.

How dare she point out the overwhelming hypocrisy in America as if her feeble coon mind could comprehend the decisions white folks have to make when they rule the world? Rice's comments have sent shock waves through the Aryan community, and even brought Latin Negro-hater Lou Dobbs to a state of speechlessness. Visible proof below.

The response has been much more vitriolic on conservative message boards across the Internet. Rice's appearance, her intelligence, her qualifications and her citizenship have all rightfully been questioned in the wake of her abandonment of the Good Negro ideals. While she still appears willing to parrot conservative talking points on a host of other issues, how can white folks truly trust a Negress who will speak honestly about race? Is she a double agent? Does she harbor the same burning disdain for America shown by that hate-monger Rev. Wright?

There is no way to be certain where her loyalties lie, and it's unlikely she can ever be welcomed fully into the bosom of white folks again. She is no longer a viable running mate for John McCain because if that venerable representative of whiteness were to die in office there could possibly be a Manchurian Negro in the highest political office in the land!

Et tu Condi?


Deacon Blue said...

And I'm sure one of Lou Dobb's ancestors would have been happy to give Dr. Rice one of those cushy cotton picking jobs, too, all the while engaging in meaningful race dialogue with her. Well, I'll say this much: At least he had the wherewithal to realize mid-phrase just how bad it would be in this context to let the word "picking" escape his lips.

Anonymous said...

Lou Dobbs aint got one black friend fuck him

sixfive said...

MAN, did he want to say "cotton pickin'".

WNG said...

Manchurian Negro!!!
Oh that was priceless :)
You have cured my work induced headache, Big Man, thank you!

The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

I would be gracious and say "Better late than never"; however, Condi's silence allowed the September 11th attack and immediate war with a country that didn't do shyt to us.

I almost puked when she invokes the memory of the four little girls blown up at the 16th St. Baptist Church one Sunday morning by the Klan. She states she went to school with Denise McNair - the McNair's say that Condi's parents went to great lengths to keep her from socializing with Denise and her friends.

Therefore, she forefeited the right to say anything about race. Colin Powell at least kept it real, and he was in a more precarious situation than she is.

Colin Powell supported Affirmative Action and Civil Rights - he was quite vocal about it and never tap-danced around the issue. Condi Rice did.

Big Man, my issues with Dr. Rice are personal. I grew up in California and I did volunteer work with organizations that prepped lower-income kids to not only pass the SATs, but be accepted into colleges like Stanford University.

The organizations I worked with helped 200 Black and Latino kids pass the SATs with 1300 or higher (I didn't even break 900 when I took it), and they had 3.50 GPAs or higher.

In other words, they qualified to get into Stanford, but Condi Rice was running the Affirmative Action Program at the University as part of her duties as a Provost.

None of those kids got into Stanford, and it was on her watch. Stanford had a good opportunity to accept at least 10% of those kids into the university (I think 50 of them applied - all got denied).

She speaks about race, now, because she's going back to Stanford, and she has absolutely nothing to lose.

The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

As for Lou Dobbs, SCREW Him. He's so bigoted, he's forgetting to hide it on the air, and CNN keeps signing his paycheck to be a Nationally Televised bigot.

I wonder if he feels the same way about that Latina he's married to. She must be thinking about all the cheddar she'll inherit when he kicks the can, because unless she's as self-hating as Clarance Thomas, there's no way she would be married to a bigoted fool who thinks her people need to be deported by the truckload, and blames them for every economic situation that's bad for America.

Big Man said...


Are you assuming that Clarence Thomas is in some way special in his self-hatred? I think not, I'm pretty sure there are Clarence Thomas's in every race, and a bigot like Lou Dobbs would be sure to find one to settle down with.

And thanks for the information about Rice's tenure at Stanford. Like I said, I think she still has major issues, but at least she spoke somewhat honestly. What she said wasn't really earth-shattering to those black people with a sense of history, but to white folks who loved and cherished her it was galling.

The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

True that, Big Man. They fainted right into their Armani suits that after all they did for Condi, she turned on them that way.

And, no, self-hatred is not limited to Clarence Thomas, unfortunately. I called myself trying to give Mrs. Dobbs the benefit of the doubt, but as you pointed out, she's been with Lou so long, she probably thinks she's white.

She probably wouldn't piss on her relatives if she saw them on fire in the street - she'd have to be, married to someone who should just show up on the air with his hood, robe and burning cross.

Adabu said...

Between the 'Manchurian Negro' comment and watching Lou Dobbs do a stutter step away from Imus land you have made my day!!! Thank you very much.

Big Man said...


I always appreciate compliments and new visitors.

BrendaKay said...

Big Man,

I tried so very hard not to laugh, because as you said, this business of trying to be a Good Negro, can send the best of us Colored Folk damn near crazy. But I swear I nearly fell out of my chair laughing when I read, "pernicious pickaninny", "ungrateful tar baby" and the best phrase of the year hands-down, "Manchurian Negro".

I can just imagine that Sean Hannity would sell his soul to the devil himself for the opportunity to say these words on his radio and TV program.

Raving Black Lunatic