While We Were Celebrating

Black people have a strange relationship with homosexuality.

For those of you who may have missed it, residents of California recently approved a ban on gay marriage. African Americans voted overwhelmingly in favor of that ban. It was a huge blow to the civil rights of gay people, and there are plans to take the issue to the Supreme Court.

I've read several stories in recent days about how exactly this ban was passed (The Mormon Church played a huge role. Imagine that, blacks and Mormons working together!). What stood out to me was how supporters of the ban preyed on heterosexual people's fear that allowing gay marriage would somehow threaten marriage between straight folks.

I've been married for almost three years now, and if I've learned one thing, it's that the biggest threats to my marriage are me and my wife. I just find it laughable that people are really afraid that if they allow gay people to get married it will make it harder for them to stay married.

What's ironic is how easily this line of thinking gained traction in the black community. Honestly, we should be the last people attracted to the idea that granting a minority group rights will threaten the majority, but that wasn't the case.

Which brings me back to my original comment about the strange relationship between blacks and homosexuality.

Throughout my life, raised as a pretty traditional Christian, I've been taught two things about being gay: it's a sin and it's none of my business.

That seems to be the attitude for many black church folks. We readily acknowledge that homosexuality is wrong according to the Bible, but we typically consider what people do behind closed doors none of our concern.

How else do you explain the way black preachers can unabashedly lampoon "sissies" from the pulpit while at the same time employing obviously gay men as the musical directors of their choirs? How about the one lesbian sister who comes to church dressed exactly like a man and who is hugged and kissed by the same folks who refer to gay men as faggots?

Black people have mastered the art of ignoring homosexuality, while at the same time fearing it.

It's not a particularly hard situation to understand. The black family and black manhood have always been under attack in America. Combined with black people's overwhelming support of traditional Christianity, it's not surprise that many black people are uncomfortable with homosexuality. In fact, if you consider the fact that many black people also have experienced racism at the hands of white homosexuals, and that gay activists love to tie their movement to the civil rights movement, well it was damn near inevitable that the two groups clash.

Since so many black people are already worried about the decline in successful heterosexual marriages in the black community, they are much more willing to believe lies about the cause of this problem. It's the same reason so many white Americans are willing to believe the lies about black criminality. When people feel threatened, they look for targets to lash out at, and they are not circumspect when it comes to assigning blame.

However, despite black people's poor choices on this issue, I am bothered by the response from some prominent gay white people, like Dan Savage and Andrew Sullivan, and their supporters. They have decided to lay the blame for the Proposition 8's passage solely at the feet of black voters ignoring the fact that whites were pretty split on the measure and that the Mormon Church spent millions to get the proposition passed.

There has always been a weird tension between gay people and black people. Many gay people seem shocked that a group that has been oppressed as much as black people could participate in oppression. It's as if gay people have never actually taken the time to understand the complicated history of African Americans.

Black people oppress each other. During the civil rights and black power movements, black men oppressed women. We've oppressed Asian, Mexicans and any other group that we view as a threat. We've even oppressed white people when given the chance. Just because black people have been victims of oppressions does not bestow upon us any special sort of nobility or even empathy. We are still human beings that behave like most other human beings.

Personally, I believe that the solution to reducing tension between black people and gays is a cessation of comparisons between the two experiences in America and an honest dialogue between the two groups about their needs and concerns. Instead, we all seem determined to spend our time sniping at each other and playing the blame game.

That's not going to get things done.






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