Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Hoes Gotta Eat Too


I know, I know, that title is a fool.

But, man, once y'all read this and this it will make perfect sense to you. Basically, even the market for kittycat is tanking given the current economic crisis.

It's hard out there for pimps and hoes.

I don't know about y'all, but those stories tickled me, particularly the one from the New York Post given that tabloid's ability to combine a few facts and a lot of snark to make an entertaining read. Seriously, if you actually pay attention, the author of that piece quotes very few women, but manages to churn out a story about the state of gold-digging all over New York. That's some old-fashioned reporting right there. (The story about the brothels in Nevada was more depressing, given the fact that those women are actual prostitutes and that's not cute at all.)

I wonder if President-elect Barack Obama has a five-point plan to jumpstart the ho-conomy? Maybe tummy tucks and discounted botox for everyone? What do you do when men rediscover the joys of manual stimulation, and decide that right now it's a buyers' market for vagina?

If these aren't the hardworking Americans we heard about during the campaign, I don't know who is.

Actually, I would assume that if Obama deigned to consider the issue he'd point out that once he gets the regular economy back clicking the sex trade will take care of itself. He's probably right. Once cats can handle groceries and rent, I would expect them to be willing to spend a little extra on some nookie. After all, as KIT often says, the hierarchy in most men's minds goes 1. food 2. shelter 3. vajayjay. And sometimes numbers two and three are reversible.

Yep, I guess those struggling gold diggers and flat-broke hoes are just going to have to hold on and hope for better times like the rest of us. At least they can take solace in the fact that they know their jobs are unlikely to be outsourced and they won't need to re-train.

After all, ho money may be slow money, but it's fo' sho' money.




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13 comments:

blackgirlinmaine said...

LOL...How come I am humming the song from Hustle and Flow...its hard out here for a pimp.

Yep, times is tough indeed. Dang, guess my idea for a new hustle won't work now. LOL

Big Man said...

Thanks for commenting BGM.

I was getting discouraged at the dearth of activity and had begun to wonder if the post was as funny as I thought it was.

Anonymous said...

"Ho money is fo' sho' money" LOL! Sounds like a recruiting slogan to me.
The story on NY's GDBs is pretty funny. When all you can offer is looks, ya ain't offering much!
But Oh My, those poor "working girls"! They REALLY need a package stimulus, er, I mean a stimulus package.
I promise to do my part, locally.

Deacon Blue said...

Big Man, I thought this post was funny as hell...but I've been too busy with pre-Thanksgiving, finish my work quickly stuff to comment until now. I suspect a lot of other folks are in the same boat.

What irritates me about your post is that it has really depressed me, given that you have essentially informed me that there are not one but TWO sex industry jobs (pimp AND ho) that are unavailable to me as fallback positions to make extra money.

Dammit...

blackgirlinmaine said...

I suspect the lack of activity is related to the holidays, its been slow on my blog as well.

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

The NY Post article, Desperately Seeking A Sugar Daddy was great. I couldn't help but snicker once again that mainstream Americans are going to have even more in common with us, making it harder for them to look down us - and hopefully become more understanding. In other words, George Bush turned everyone into niggers, lol.

BTW, the shoutout in your post was nice surprise. Mucho thanks and Happy Thanksgiving!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

im really disappointed in his economic plan, sounds like a fininical terrorist to me

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