Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Homie, Just Shut Up

There are quite a few interesting race-based topics floating around the Internet these days such as the recent Supreme Court ruling on workplace discrimination, and the news that white folks on Twitter would prefer if it stayed segregated.

However, I want to talk about something related to matters of the heart. Namely, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford and his inability to shut the hell up.

Y'all know Sanford. He's the idiot who destroyed his marriage and political aspirations by carrying on an affair with an Argentinian woman, and basically disappearing from the face of the Earth to break up with her. If that wasn't bad enough, the good Governor has decided he would like to show every man in America how NOT to apologize to the world for being an adulterous whoremonger.

First, taking a step back, what type of dude is stupid enough to fly down to Argentina to tell his jump-off things are over? Really, homie? You couldn't just call her and say "Nah, I'm cool"? You had to fly down there for 10 DAYS to break things off and only came back once things got so hectic in the states that folks thought you might be dead?

You sir, are an idiot.

But, to compound things, when you got caught with your pants down, you decided to hold a press conference and volunteer personal information about your affair. And you were stupid enough to write love letters on your government email. Dude, what is wrong with you? Was this like a cry for help? It seems like you were begging the world to catch you and punish you.

Seriously, rule number one for every embarrassing press conference is to take no more than four questions if you take any questions. Remember how Kobe handled his press conference after he was accused of rape? Homie read a prepared statement, took no questions and made sure his wife had her new $4 million ring front and center. Yeah, he took some flak, but he wasn't sweating and stumbling as the vultures in the media asked him about whether he loved his wife.

Which brings me to my next point. Why is Sanford still talking to reporters and revealing information about his marriage, his affair or ANYTHING? The most recent news is that Sanford believes his mistress was his soulmate and now he will "try" to fall back in love with his wife.

I feel like punching him in the eye.

Dude, how are you going to say that out loud? Were you high? 'Cause if you were high, maybe I could understand saying something like that. But, if you were sober and fixed your mouth to say "I'll try to fall back in love with my wife," well you should be smacked by a pimp named Bubbles. And smacked hard.

Who would say something that stupid? In the annals of stupid comments, that ranks right up there with Bill Clinton saying "It depends on how you define sex" and O.J. saying "Well if I would have done it, here's how it would have happened."

I refuse to believe that any self-respecting woman would take back a man who said his jump off was his soulmate and then said he would do his best to fall back in love with her. I mean, that goes beyond forgiveness. It's just too far.

Does Sanford have any real friends? I'm guessing no, because a real friend would not allow him to keep talking to the media and a real friend would have let him know that calling your mistress your soulmate is stupid. Real friends protect you from yourself, but I guess all Sanford has are sycophants around him.

And that's why he won't shut up.



blackgirlinmaine said...

I'm with you...if ole Maria is really his soulmate then he needs to shut up and get a divorce. It would still be shady but I could respect that a lot more...I'm sorry but as a woman if my man said that he was gonna try and fall back in love with me, I would tell him to hit the road.

Yeah, Mark needs to get his jaws wired or something because every time he speaks its bad.

macon d said...

I think he's just a flaming narcissist. Indeed, NPD may well be his problem. Sure would explain a lot.

DMG said...

Umm. Dude didn't go down there to break things off. I think he just said that when he found out he got caught.

But then again...maybe the Muslims and Mormons have a point. :)

Smokie said...

Sounds like Sanford just wants OUT of the marriage. Sounds like he's being totally honest in hopes that his wife won't still be down for working things out. He's also telling that mistress how much he loves her. SOUNDS LIKE the good gov is whipped and really doesn't care what it sounds like.

Lisa J said...

Aw, she threw his butt out once and I bet she doesn't take him back. She is an heiress so she doesn't need him. $10 girlfriend tells him to get to steppin!

She outta do what Angela Davis did in Stella and burn that suckers car and all his stuff.

Big Man said...

Never, ever, mess around on Lisa J.

She talking 'bout setting stuff on fire.

blackgirlinmaine said...

I think Smokie is right, dude is clearly whipped...ole Maria put it on him so now he is just hoping Jenny will throw his behind out.

I mean if I read correctly dude was asking his wife could he keep Maria on the side? WTF is that all about?

Lisa J is a woman after my own heart LOL.... I would take his stuff outside on the lawn of the govnah's mansion and have a bonfire and ask him how he liked those apples?

MacDaddy said...

Big Man, as a man, when I listen to this pathetic man, I wonder why any women like us. This is off-the-chains stupidity, one of which movies are made staring one of the male actors in Dumb and Dumber. Ugh ugh ugh.

Imhotep said...

I've a different take. Yea, he has said too much, but he is talking from the heart, and for the most part he's honest, especially about the women in his life. Why are we castigating the gov for telling it like it is? He clearly does not want to be with his wife any longer, and is longing for some latina flavor.

I'm unable to figure out why he's TRYING to love someone (wife) when he has found the love of his life, his soul mate? If Ms. Argentina is his soul mate, why pretend there is hope for his wife? There is none, it’s over. Time to move on!
Seem to me, if he truly loves Ms. Argentine (and she loves him), he would divorce his wife, and try to make it work with his soul mate. Why deny himself his soul mate? Shit don’t make sense to me, or maybe we have a different understanding of who and what a soul mate is. Me think he needs to remove the permanency from the words "till death do us part" Should be, till soul mate enter do us part!

Deacon Blue said...

Fair enough, Imhotep. It's an interesting line of thought and I can see your logic.

But this ass-hat needs to leave the governor's mansion. Anyone who vanishes and lets people wonder if he's dead and is out of contact with people and unreachable for 10 days...well, he doesn't need to be leading ANY state.

Imhotep said...

Deacon, I agree he should step down, not because he fell in love, but because he handled the situation poorly.

There is no way as governor that you abdicate your office--for 5 days-- as the state's top official to 4.5 mill people, to go shack up with ONE person, no matter how wonderful the tan lines or intense the “sparking thing”. Who said the republicans were having problems attracting the Hispanic vote!

Deacon Blue said...

LOL, Imhotep...maybe that's the new GOP strategy! Show that folks in Latin America love them, and maybe the homegrown Hispanics will vote for them.

Sarah Palin will dump her husband for Benicio Del Toro or Antonio Banderas now, perhaps?

Imhotep said...

Deacon, I think the Palin case is hopeless, she has made it clear who the true americans are. Even if she got a latin lover, say George Lopez, she still would not get any Hispanic votes. Her best bet is to say that she can see Mexico from her backyard.

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