Friday, July 18, 2008

To Whom It May Concern

See, I warned y'all.

I gave a nice little speech where I told all of you that taking shots at me was just fine. I'm a big boy; I knew what I was getting myself into when I sought this job. This is politics; it's a messy business.

But, I explicitly told you bastards that my woman and my seeds were off-limits. I told you that disrespect for them would not be tolerated. My queen is my queen. My seeds are my seeds. They are not playthings for you all to use to amuse yourselves.

Yet, y'all keep testing me.

See, I know some of y'all keep thinking I'm going to let this shit ride forever. After all, what can I do? Ain't like I'm just gonna start chin-checking Sean Hannity and the rest of those lip-flapping cowards at the Fuckboys News Network, right?

Nope, y'all figure I can't touch you behind that security glass. Y'all are puffing out your chests like those $3,000 suits are made of Kevlar. I guess all of you are feeling real bold, and that's why you keep showing those pearly whites when you throw darts at Michelle.

I'm gonna make you swallow those Chiclets in a minute though.

Oh, it won't be with violence; I'm too cool and too smart for violence. Besides, no matter how famous I am, I'm still a black man in America. That means that assaulting a white man still is a great way for me to take an all-male vacation to somewhere with bars.

But, let me drop some knowledge in your ear. See, when I win this thing, and I am going to win, I'm going to be the most powerful nigger you've ever met...I know y'all still like to use that word...

I'm going to be the one who appoints folks to the FCC. I'm going to be the ace of spades who sets the parameters for what is and is not acceptable for our airwaves. I'll decide who gets media licenses, who gets to purchase television stations and which reporters attend press conferences.

That's right, I'm going to hold your nuts in my hand.

And, I kind of like Jesse Jackson's method for dealing with nuts I don't like.

So, keep taking your shots at the queen. I've now let you know that your actions are being documented and considered. I've already told you that it makes me angry. I think all of you cowards know what that means.

I got something for a coward.


jelana said...

I loved this and I hope this is exactly what happens. Nothing could be more fitting for most of these pundits!

OG, The Original Glamazon said...

Way to start my Friday off!!


des said...

Big Man,

Picture Obama as Leonides:

Anonymous said...

The thing is though that she's out there on the campaign trail, having her own events, giving independent speeches. By rule, that's fair game. The kids of course are off-limits as they are not campaigning (heh) but if Michelle wants to be protected, so to speak, she has to stay out of the limelight. It's not because she's black yada yada yada (standard I'm not racist disclaimer), think of what "they" did to Mrs. Clinton, "Tipper" Gore, etc.

Big Man said...


What "they" did to Hillary and Tipper was wrong.

Easy litmus test for people with your logic, is Cindy McCain's past drug addiction "fair game?" How about her status as a former "piece on the side" as the folks at JJP refer to her?

Yeah, I don't think that would fly.

Anonymous said...

I love your thought process, another good post.

Crys said...

i am so turned on


Anonymous said...

Yes but I got the impression that you were suggesting that "they" were going after her because she is black, which I think can be forgiven given the general tone and tenor of this blog :) Your reply to my comment shows that you do not believe this to be the case, so I'm glad you've cleared this up. Call me a typical clueless white person if you like. And no, we'all don't like using the N word, I have never uttered it in my entire life nor have I ever had a friend or family member ever utter it (in front of me.)

Anonymous said...

LOL great post. I love the Obamas (especially Michelle). If they don't lay off soon I'm sure we'll see another side of Barack.

Big Man said...


Part of the reason everybody has been going at both of the Obamas so hard is because they are black. Anybody who doesn't see that really isn't paying attention. Now, does that men that white people have never been treated unfairly? Of course not.

Now, stay with me on this because you might not like what I'm going to say. Many, many white people seem to think that if they find an instance where a white person was treated poorly it invalidates black people's claims that their poor treatment is due to race. This is foolish.

People treat other people poorly for a variety of reasons. Race, class, just plain old meanness. Just because Tipper and Hillary were attacked does not mean that the attacks on Michelle Obama have not been motivated by race.

There is no connection there. If you want to determine the reasons behind attacks you need to investigate the tenor and types of attacks. The attacks on Michelle use racial stereotypes, just like the ones on Obama. This tells me that people's problems with the couple go beyond just disliking their politics, they go to something deeper.

Thanks for reading.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the Obamas' race compounds the dislike some have for them, but I doubt it is the exclusive reason. Does it make one racist to point out how little time Obama put in as a senator before running for president? If one disagrees with his voting record? If one finds his oratory too fluffy and lacking substance? How is one supposed to bring these issues up without being accused of being a racist? If you look hard enough, you will indeed find opportunities to be offended. I think that it's time to give folks who criticize Obama the benefit of the doubt.

Big Man said...


Bringing up the issues you brought up does not make you a racist.

And the vast majority of Obama supporters would not accuse you of being one for saying those things. They would dispute your characterizations, but they wouldn't call you a racist.

Now, if you insist on using his middle name, if you call him a drug dealer, if you call him "dangerous," "uppity" or "un-American" well you might get called racist.

If you harp on his wife as a "typical Angry Black Woman" and make other comments that deal with racial stereotypes, well you'll get called a racist.

Blacks differ with each other over Obama and what he represents and what he'll do.

White people get called out for being a racist when they say something that black folks deem racist. They don't get called out just for disagreeing. Colin Powell and Condi Rice disagree with the the majority of black folks on a host of issues, but you don't see them getting called racists. But, Larry Elder and Ward Connerly get that title all the time.

Raving Black Lunatic