King Coon Returns

That is the face of an uber-coon.

Study it. Learn it. Despise it.

A friend of mine referred to Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas as a "troubled man." He said he feels sorry for someone who is so obviously messed up in the head.

Sympathy for uber-coons is hard to come by in my house.

Why am I using such strong language for a man I've never met? Check out this story that I found on Jack and Jill Politics. That, my readers, is the work of an uber-coon.

For those of you allergic to links, the story details exactly how Uncle Clarence is trying to derail President-elect Barack Obama's ascension into the White House. The Cliff Notes are that Thomas is going out of his way to investigate whether Obama is a legal citizen of this country. Uncle Clarence is bucking (pun intended) some longstanding Supreme Court tradition to conduct his "investigation," and he's aligned himself with some kooky people.

Truthfully, this case has very little chance of progressing. Not only would stripping Obama of the presidency pretty much assure that the Supreme Court lost all public trust considering the Florida debacle, but it would mean that we'd have to have George W. Bush as president longer.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants that.

I'm not upset because this might prevent Obama from becoming the HNIC. Nah, I'm upset because this is such a flamboyant display of coonery that it makes me sick to my stomach. Really, I just had to swallow bile.

I only have a passing familiarity with Uncle Clarence. What has been written about him suggests that he is deeply troubled by feelings of inferiority that are rooted in color issues and were heightened by a mistaken belief that Affirmative Action's sole purpose was to promote unqualified folks. From my vantage point, he's a deeply disturbed individual.

But, if he was only disturbed, I would be loathe to label him an uber-coon. Maybe a regular coon, but not an uber-coon. Uber-coonery requires malice and evilness, not just an overwhelming sense of self hate or greed.

I have a friend who hypothesized that Thomas believes, mistakenly, that by taking a hardline stance against affirmative action he is really saving black people from a lifetime of victimhood. My friend saw Thomas as a Quixotic figure, tilting against a black pathology he has grossly overestimated. Someone deserving of pity, but not anger or disgust.

It's not the first time we've had a difference of opinion.

Clarence Thomas is the prototypical crab in a barrel. Sure he had a hard childhood. Orphaned and mentally abused, he definitely earned some leeway regarding his lack of social grace and even some of his color issues. But, that's as far as I can go.

Uncle Clarence has benefited from affirmative action at every stage of his life and he has the nerve to tell other black people that he's trying to prevent them from using the same tool because it's bad for them? Is he serious?

No, if Thomas really opposed affirmative action he would have refused that first federal appointment from George Bush I, the appointment that later led him to the Supreme Court to replace the court's only black member. If he really opposed affirmative action there was no way he would have replaced Marshall in what was clearly an affirmative action hire. In fact, there is no way Thomas would still be practicing law if he truly abhorred his tainted degree from Yale's Law School. If his feelings were that intense, he would have abandoned his pursuit of a career in the law and sought to make his mark in another career without the help of sympathetic white administrators.

He didn't do any of that.

Instead, he reaped all the benefits he could from affirmative action and then dedicated himself to insuring that no other black person could ever have that opportunity. He believes that any black person who has as much success as a white person must be unworthy of their position, and should be deemed inferior. He willingly claimed an uber-coon destiny.

Now, Thomas may actually believe that he is a martyr and that his courage and perseverance will be celebrated by later generations. He may have convinced himself that is his real motive. But, I have seen beyond that facade.

Uncle Clarence is looking out for Number One. He is protecting himself and his position, all while abasing himself at the altar of white superiority that is his real God. Thomas is willing to endure ridicule from black people because he does not care what we think, after all, we aren't white. As long as white people treat him with love and respect, and there are many white people who do just that, then he is fine. His life work is complete as long as he receives that figurative pat on the head from his smiling master.

He can die a happy uber-coon.



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