Monday, August 18, 2008

Slight Departure




One of my faithful readers, The Truth, decided to "tag" me at his blog The Enclave. From what I've gathered, this is kind of like a chain letter for blogs. Despite the fact that I vehemently oppose chain letters and never pass them along, I'm going to respond this one time because I liked the premise. However, this is the last time. And the picture above is part of the chain letter.

I'm supposed to reveal seven facts about myself, so here we go.

1. I hate social networking sites. Seriously, I think Myspace, Facebook and all their bastard children are the devil's spawn. People voluntarily post embarrassing pictures of themselves and then invite strangers to come talk to them about those pictures. They also refuse to speak in anything but the Internet Language. I really hate the Internet Language. Then, people you don't even like come by and comment on your page just so you will return the favor and make them feel popular. I have never had a Myspace or Facebook page and as long as my brain is working correctly, I never will.

2. Before I met my wife I was a virgin. Yep, I was the one attractive cat in America to manage to maintain my virginity throughout high school and college. And it wasn't because I was on some religious kick. Nope, I was actively out there trying to get some loving, but still failing. Part of it was that I had a penchant for telling girls the truth about everything. When you're trying to close the deal you should not tell girls the truth. I'm not saying you should lie, but you should avoid forcing them to confront unpleasant truths about themselves and about their past sexual history. I've picked that up along the way.

3. I haven't had a white friend since I was like six. I know that's not surprising to most of y'all given the tone of this blog, but it is an unusual fact. I've attended white schools at times and worked with white people my whole life, but I haven't had a white friend since elementary school. His name was Chip and he lived down the street from me. My brother and I constantly rang his doorbell so he would come outside and play. We used to tease him after he learned how to ride his bike because he had to make really wide turns or he would fall. Our friendship was ended by white flight.

4. I used to have a fetish for Asian chicks. I know that's horrible and I'm still ashamed about it. But, after ingesting American propaganda about Asian women, I strongly felt that being with one was an experience I wanted to have. Obviously, that didn't happen, but it was on my mind. However, I have never really felt comfortable dating outside of my race and have never approached a woman who wasn't black.

5. I can be quite a dick. Seriously, I can be sarcastic, mean and cruel. I have a tendency to use the silent treatment or really cutting remarks to express my anger. I also emotionally divest myself from women without letting them know what's going on. I'm working on these things because they are not conducive to having a long-lasting marriage. Trust me.

6. I used to eat boogers. Nothing else to say about that.

7. I'm really enjoying this blogging thing, but I wonder if the whole exercise is just for self-gratification. Kind of like a verbal form of internet masturbation. I've decided to put some of my high-minded ideas into action, mostly by confronting folks more frequently when they cross racial boundaries. I also want to be like WNG and make the world better place. Unfortunately, I'm lazy and I have a wife, a son and another baby on the way. So, it's really easy for me to find excuses why I can't get up and do good. I'm working on it though, and I'll let y'all know how things go.



I tag:

Deacon Blue
KIT
Uppity Negro
Inkognegro

I know I'm supposed to do seven folks, but I just told y'all I was lazy.

13 comments:

WNG said...

You. Crack. Me. Up.

seriously.

Thank you for the honesty there, I think that's where the humor cam from. Oh and if you really want to make the world a better place you could start by naming the New One after someone really cool who doesn't happen to have a namesake yet...like...say...moi...

just a thought (but I could start a petition if you'd like)

Deacon Blue said...

Seems that The Truth started that bit about sharing seven personal facts...guess it was a way to make a more substantial blog post than just the recommdations and tie into the "7" thing.

I'll have to mull over whether I want to continue this new wrinkle, but I will get a post up with seven nominees at least.

I'm with you on not like chain letters, and wouldn't want to make a habit of this kind of thing, but it isn't exactly a chain letter in the classic sense, so I'll play along in this game of nomination tag.
:-)

Deacon Blue said...

Oh, my bad, didn't read The Truth's blog post close enough...Brother Dirty Red apparently started that new thing with the "seven facts."

the uppity negro said...

Ohhhhh.....now I get it. no need for a response.

OG, The Original Glamazon said...

Nice! Thanks for sharing a little more about yourself, always helps to understand a writer knowing some of his/her background. I know spoken like the true English major I was in school.

When breaking down the greats it’s always helpful to know a little bit about who they are and where there coming from or not trying to come from. If they were a drunk or had white friends or ate boogers is always helpful in doing any true dissection of person's work.

Yes, sometimes I wonder if this blogging is just something to feed and satiate the intellectual ego I have, but seeing as I stay away from the intellectual diatribes I’d like to unleash and keep things EZ, I’d say it is just to satiate the need to get words and thoughts out of my head and know I am not crazy.

I’m glad you are lazy!

-OG

Big Man said...

I didn't even realize we were supposed to put up our seven favorite blogs. I just thought it was seven blogs you read regularly. Damn, that's what I get for being lazy and not reading everything.

MCBias said...

I agree with wng, you do indeed crack me up. :-) I've been there in the "Must tell girls every thought I have to be totally honest" way, ha, it didn't work for me either. I thought girls liked honesty? :-p

Whenever I feel like the blog is getting too self-centered, I put myself down, or intentionally write about other people and other things. It helps to restore balance. A short break can also do wonders.

Anonymous said...

Big Man, I'm hurt. I thought you and I were good friends :(

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

congrats folk
i got one of them last week

Smokie said...

The booger image won't leave!

SIGH

Big Man said...

Yeah, the booger thing was hard to write. But, I figured if I'm revealing some truths, might as well go all the way.

Gye Greene said...

#1 - ditto. Plus, it's a great facilitator for identity theft: "Please list your birthdate, your mother's maiden name, and your first pet..."

#3 - Query: How many people do you consider "friends"? (I'd say maybe seven -- if you exclude those that are also family members and/or my spouse.) Based on your "friends vs. acquaintances" post from way back, I'm guessing pretty few. So, it's not too surprising that you haven't the white friends. (I have lots of "co-workers" -- but really, no "friends" from work -- i.e. that I'd invite over for a BBQ.)

#6 - Question: What's the difference between boogers and brussel sprouts?

Answer (say it in a little kid voice): Little kids won't eat their brussel sprouts.


--GG

That Girl said...

Did you seriously just share that you eat boogers? Really? Cause yeah you say you used to but once a booger eater...I'm just saying. lol

Raving Black Lunatic