Monday, March 23, 2009

Recession Mojo

How is it hanging?

I just read a comment from a reader over at Andrew Sullivan's blog about something that made me think. The reader was a date coach, you know somebody who helps other guys score with women, and he said that the recession has made some men desperate for a woman. The guy said that he's making money hand over fist because some cats were willing to drain their bank accounts to convince him to teach them how to bag some honeys.

Interesting.

I then read this article which discussed how to "recession proof" your marriage. The article said that couples have to be even more aware of each other during tough economic times because it's easy to get off track in relationships when the other concerns of life are beating down on you.

So now I'm wondering...

What's your recession mojo like?

Now that's going to make some of y'all pause. After all, who do I think I am getting all up in y'all's business, particularly the business of the bedroom. I'll admit that this isn't the sort of topic I typically discuss on this blog, but I wanted a conversation starter.

It's obvious being broke changes the way we as human beings interact with each other. Domestic abuse goes up during tough economic times, as does random violent crime. When people are struggling they get mean, and mean people suck as lovers.

Trust me, I know.

But, despite the fact that an economic downturn typically makes staying in love more difficult, I'm not really shocked that more people seem to want somebody to love. I'll admit that I'm making a small leap of faith in assuming that people want love and not cheap, meaningless sex, but I think that's a pretty safe bet.

See, there's nothing like having a significant other in your corner when the world goes all topsy-turvy. Hard times just seem harder when you're out there in the world alone with no support system. Even if your support system eats the last bit of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and only leaves you a swallow of orange juice in the jug, they are still your support system. Tyler Perry will probably make millions from his movie "I Can Do Bad All By Myself", but most of us would rather have somebody to struggle along with us.

Unfortunately, while we may want somebody in our lives, the extra stress of making do in a recession can make it hard to keep somebody in our lives. So, I've decided to give y'all three surefire ways to keep the fires of love burning, even when the repo man is lurking.

1. Use Everything

I know it's hard to aroused when the mortgage is late and the credit card debt is building, but everybody knows intimacy keeps a relationship strong. Instead of letting the unfortunate realities of recession life sap your mojo, flip the script.

If you and your special someone are into role playing, how about adding the "bill collector" and the "desperate debtor" to your cast. While you and your lover are working out a payment plan for those outstanding bedroom debts, you won't even notice that the electric company has cut off the lights. If the foreclosure proceedings go too far, don't fret, you and your baby can relive high school with a little backseat bumping and grinding.

2. Downsize Your Desires

Look, I know that back when money was actually worth something, you wouldn't be caught dead going on a "date" to a fast food restaurant. Sure, you'd stop in on the way home from work, but when you and your significant other actually went on a date, you went somewhere with waiters and cloth napkins.

But, as the world has changed, so should your standards. Don't feel disgusted that your hubby now thinks splitting a number two is an acceptable night on the town. Instead, of taking him to task, show him that special trick you learned with a hot fry and a ice cube. Just don't tell him who you learned it from.

3. Love Don't Cost a Thing

While my first two suggestions were a little tongue-in-cheek, this one is completely serious. Letting your significant other know you care about them doesn't require a bunch of money. It requires time, effort and creativity.

Sure, money makes things easier, but who promised you life would be easy? I know I didn't. Don't let life's burdens weigh you down so much that you don't have the time or inclination to hold your lover's hand, or cuddle with them on the couch. Don't spend so much time worrying about your bills, that you forget that the most valuable things in all of our lives have nothing to do with Ben Franklin or George Washington.

Love is free, be generous with it.

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7 comments:

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

that was classic

blackgirlinmaine said...

Excellent post! I think in these hard times we all need these ideas. Its funny because last week the hubby and I grabbed a meal at Burger King...my how we have fallen. However just leaving the house sans the child is nice even when eating heart attacks in wrappers.

Deacon Blue said...

God words all the way around, Big Man, whether tongue in cheek or the ones that were tongue in...

...OK, I'll stop there.

People shouldn't be shy about making date nights (or date days) to make sure some intimacy happens, either. Sometimes it's hard to get started, but it's important to make the effort to make sure hand-holding turns into something more serious on a decently regular basis.

Big Man said...

Thank y'all for the compliments. I've been crazy busy lately at work, plus I just got my own taste of the recession blues.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

Deacon Blue said...

Hopefully not TOO big of a taste. Those are some bitter eatin'

Life Insurance Canada said...

Nice post, something different. You sure got some good ideas, thanks for sharing.

Lorne

MODI said...

"If you and your special someone are into role playing, how about adding the "bill collector" and the "desperate debtor" to your cast."

Big man instant classic!

#2 was tongue in cheek? I've been all over that one. Shit, food is everybody's #1 expense after rent/mortgage. The only reason we aren't shocked by it is because we don't receive a monthly bill.

While back in college, I perfected the art of eating well for next to nothing, and now I'm pulling from that. I'm back to cereal and oatmeal for breakfast instead of fastfood drive throughs. Pasta with more frequency is always an economic winner. also, with meats, gotta by sales in bulk and freeze.

Raving Black Lunatic