Frankly, the author does quite a number on black churches. She goes to great lengths to lay the blame for the lack of married black women at the feet of the church, and basically questions the sanity of anybody who would embrace religion, particularly black Christianity. Citing a study done by the Pew Research Center, she decides that if you're looking for a good black man, the church is the last place to look, and she also questions why anybody would limit themselves to a black man anyway.
There were a lot of issues with the piece. For one, the author uses general statistics to make some of her points, but then uses specific statistics to make others. For example, she notes that the survey found that black folks are far more religious than other races, yet when she goes to make a point about how men are less religious than women, she uses general stats about "men" instead of figures about "black men."
It would stand to reason that if black folks in general are more religious by such large numbers, than black men would also be more religious, which would invalidate the argument that religion doesn't matter to black men. As a matter of fact, a chart in the original study seems to buttress this train of thought since it shows negligible differences between men and women as it relates to what types of churches they attend, and their level of "non-affiliation" with church. This is the only chart that breaks things down by race and gender, and would seem to be directly related to the author's point. Strangely, it is not referenced.
See, I read the entire piece and scanned the comments. There are many distortions and outright lies about the teaching of Christianity on marriage. There was also the interesting tidbit that the author has never attended church because she doesn't see any value in religion of any sort. Obviously, I found it strange that someone would dedicate such an extensive post to a topic on which they have no firsthand knowledge. Here is one of the author's comments on church:
June 21, 2010 at 9:38 AM
You must have missed the part where I said I don’t now and never have gone to church. It’s not anything I’m interested in. Why Black folks always want to assume someone has been “hurt” because they have a controverting opinion from the masses is hysterically funny to me. You all think EXACTLY the same, which to me shows the limits of people that follow religions
This woman doesn't like church. She doesn't think it's useful and, in fact, she finds it detrimental. She thinks more black women would be involved in loving, stable marriages and relationships if they would just remove church from their lives.
More power to her and those who agree with her.
I don't want to attack the messenger, but this woman admittedly has never spent much time in church and currently lists herself as "single." She sees no value in marriage or religion. She believes that black women are fools for maintaining so much loyalty for black men. She expresses disdain for anyone who would embrace the roles for men and women outlined in the Bible.
If women want to take advice on how to serve God and find a black man from this woman, well what can I say? They've made their choice. Personally, that's not how I roll.
When I want to learn something about writing, I speak to writers. Or I write something myself.
When I want to learn about women, I talk to women. Or I observe women for myself.
When I want to learn about marriage, I talk to folks who had been married for a while and appeared to still love each other. And I pay attention to my own marriage.
It doesn't make sense to listen to the advice of someone who has spent very little time researching or studying the topics you are interested in. Why would I allow someone to tell me everything that's wrong with church, or with marriage, if they haven't bothered to experience those two institutions for themselves?
Bottom line, this makes no sense. And, if people are willingly engaging in behavior that makes no sense, and then have the audacity to label those who disagree with them as members of the uneducated masses, well it would appear that there is nothing to be gained from engaging those folks.
It's simply time to move on. I'll close with one of my pops' favorite lines:
The proof is in the pudding.