See, I warned y'all.
I gave a nice little speech where I told all of you that taking shots at me was just fine. I'm a big boy; I knew what I was getting myself into when I sought this job. This is politics; it's a messy business.
But, I explicitly told you bastards that my woman and my seeds were off-limits. I told you that disrespect for them would not be tolerated. My queen is my queen. My seeds are my seeds. They are not playthings for you all to use to amuse yourselves.
Yet, y'all keep testing me.
See, I know some of y'all keep thinking I'm going to let this shit ride forever. After all, what can I do? Ain't like I'm just gonna start chin-checking Sean Hannity and the rest of those lip-flapping cowards at the Fuckboys News Network, right?
Nope, y'all figure I can't touch you behind that security glass. Y'all are puffing out your chests like those $3,000 suits are made of Kevlar. I guess all of you are feeling real bold, and that's why you keep showing those pearly whites when you throw darts at Michelle.
I'm gonna make you swallow those Chiclets in a minute though.
Oh, it won't be with violence; I'm too cool and too smart for violence. Besides, no matter how famous I am, I'm still a black man in America. That means that assaulting a white man still is a great way for me to take an all-male vacation to somewhere with bars.
But, let me drop some knowledge in your ear. See, when I win this thing, and I am going to win, I'm going to be the most powerful nigger you've ever met...I know y'all still like to use that word...
I'm going to be the one who appoints folks to the FCC. I'm going to be the ace of spades who sets the parameters for what is and is not acceptable for our airwaves. I'll decide who gets media licenses, who gets to purchase television stations and which reporters attend press conferences.
That's right, I'm going to hold your nuts in my hand.
And, I kind of like Jesse Jackson's method for dealing with nuts I don't like.
So, keep taking your shots at the queen. I've now let you know that your actions are being documented and considered. I've already told you that it makes me angry. I think all of you cowards know what that means.
I got something for a coward.
Pay Attention
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
And the Beat Goes On
Jesse.
Rev.
I am struggling to generate some real anger about this new news of your rampant hypocrisy, but I can't. I knew you were a hypocrite; You're a reverend with outside children.
But, damn Jesse.
Why would you got throwing around the word nigger at Fox News? I think that word gets used enough over there and not in a friendly way. I remember an earlier report that said you actually called Obama a "half-breed nigger."
Yep, half-breed.
The time has come for you to bow out of the national spotlight. It's over for you; we, black people, will not forget these fuck-ups. Shoot, I would have never guessed that the Rev. Al would conduct himself with more decorum than you, but he has. It appears that Al truly knows his role.
*Sigh*
Good-bye Jesse.
Watch the doorknob.
Rev.
I am struggling to generate some real anger about this new news of your rampant hypocrisy, but I can't. I knew you were a hypocrite; You're a reverend with outside children.
But, damn Jesse.
Why would you got throwing around the word nigger at Fox News? I think that word gets used enough over there and not in a friendly way. I remember an earlier report that said you actually called Obama a "half-breed nigger."
Yep, half-breed.
The time has come for you to bow out of the national spotlight. It's over for you; we, black people, will not forget these fuck-ups. Shoot, I would have never guessed that the Rev. Al would conduct himself with more decorum than you, but he has. It appears that Al truly knows his role.
*Sigh*
Good-bye Jesse.
Watch the doorknob.
Shuffle, Shuffle, Dance, Jig Dance
Where is Barack Obama's funny bone?
That's what a blurb on CNN and a recent column by Maureen Dowd asked.
Why doesn't Obama make us laugh, they asked in all seriousness. He's too somber, too circumspect, they complained. Even professional comedians admitted that they have found it hard to find a way to crack jokes about the Senator because he's black, careful and beloved by many.
Hmmmmmm... Do y'all see how this blog is going to basically write itself? I think I smell some bullet points coming.
1. Do we really need more laughs?
Okay, this is an easy one. If I understand correctly, the media are saying that after the bumbling sideshow that our government has become over the past eight years, they think we need more stuff to laugh about?
Really?
Is that their final answer?
Well, I now understand even more why my profession is one of the least respected in the country.
2. Racist jokes are easier
I think it's interesting that so many white comedians feel like they can't come up with acceptable jokes about Obama without offending someone. It really shows how uncomfortable and ignorant most white people are about black people.
After all, good comedy is born from an intimate understanding of the subjects you're lampooning. Richard Pryor, Redd Foxx, Eddie Murphy and Dave Chappelle know what it's like to be a black man in America, which is why their jokes about that life were always so funny. Eddie and Richard clearly understood crazy family members. Foxx understood living a hard life. Chappelle has studied the ins and outs of race and racism in this country.
They all can make funny jokes about controversial subjects because they have taken the time to gain an understanding of those subjects. They aren't practicing drive-by comedy. They aren't settling for the snarkiest comment that makes them and their audiences appear to be the most intelligent people on Earth. Nope, they are sharing their own vulnerabilities and their own loves and hates about difficult topics and because of their connection the material is funny.
The problem for most white comedians is not that Obama doesn't do anything that is funny. It's not that there is nothing humorous about his campaign. The problem is that they lack the skills to find the funny stuff. They don't understand black people and their culture enough to make a joke that doesn't involve rims, grills and gold chains. That's the real problem.
3. That nigger better be funny
And we've arrived at the real reason I wrote this post. It goes beyond the idea that people in this country should have had enough laughs thanks to George Bush. No, it goes to the idea that Obama needs to make white people comfortable with him, and the easiest way for them to get comfortable with a black man is if he's making them laugh.
Serious black men confuse and frustrate white people. Well, unless they are criminals. Serious thugs are easy for white people to understand and deal with. They fit into the proper box. The one with bars.
No, it's the serious brothers who are just regular cats that are enigmas. I've seen it many times in my own life. I can be gregarious and entertaining when I want, but often around strange white people I assume a quiet, subdued pose. It's a defense mechanism that allows me to scope out the scene before I reveal my true self.
But, I can't tell you how many times I have white people or their surrogates tell me "You need to lighten up more. You're too serious. Be more friendly." I remember one woman gave me this spiel and I told her that I was always extremely polite to everyone at work. She said "Well being polite isn't the same thing as being friendly, you need to crack a joke sometimes."
Crack a joke.
Black people are not here to entertain white people. We are not here to make them laugh, we are not here to make them cry, we are not here to make them angry. We are human beings living our lives just like them. We are under no obligation to make them "smile."
Barack Obama is running to be the most powerful politician in America during one of the most unsettled times in this country's history. And white folks are wondering if he is going to lose because he doesn't make them smile?
Shuffle, shuffle... Dance, jig, dance.
That's what a blurb on CNN and a recent column by Maureen Dowd asked.
Why doesn't Obama make us laugh, they asked in all seriousness. He's too somber, too circumspect, they complained. Even professional comedians admitted that they have found it hard to find a way to crack jokes about the Senator because he's black, careful and beloved by many.
Hmmmmmm... Do y'all see how this blog is going to basically write itself? I think I smell some bullet points coming.
1. Do we really need more laughs?
Okay, this is an easy one. If I understand correctly, the media are saying that after the bumbling sideshow that our government has become over the past eight years, they think we need more stuff to laugh about?
Really?
Is that their final answer?
Well, I now understand even more why my profession is one of the least respected in the country.
2. Racist jokes are easier
I think it's interesting that so many white comedians feel like they can't come up with acceptable jokes about Obama without offending someone. It really shows how uncomfortable and ignorant most white people are about black people.
After all, good comedy is born from an intimate understanding of the subjects you're lampooning. Richard Pryor, Redd Foxx, Eddie Murphy and Dave Chappelle know what it's like to be a black man in America, which is why their jokes about that life were always so funny. Eddie and Richard clearly understood crazy family members. Foxx understood living a hard life. Chappelle has studied the ins and outs of race and racism in this country.
They all can make funny jokes about controversial subjects because they have taken the time to gain an understanding of those subjects. They aren't practicing drive-by comedy. They aren't settling for the snarkiest comment that makes them and their audiences appear to be the most intelligent people on Earth. Nope, they are sharing their own vulnerabilities and their own loves and hates about difficult topics and because of their connection the material is funny.
The problem for most white comedians is not that Obama doesn't do anything that is funny. It's not that there is nothing humorous about his campaign. The problem is that they lack the skills to find the funny stuff. They don't understand black people and their culture enough to make a joke that doesn't involve rims, grills and gold chains. That's the real problem.
3. That nigger better be funny
And we've arrived at the real reason I wrote this post. It goes beyond the idea that people in this country should have had enough laughs thanks to George Bush. No, it goes to the idea that Obama needs to make white people comfortable with him, and the easiest way for them to get comfortable with a black man is if he's making them laugh.
Serious black men confuse and frustrate white people. Well, unless they are criminals. Serious thugs are easy for white people to understand and deal with. They fit into the proper box. The one with bars.
No, it's the serious brothers who are just regular cats that are enigmas. I've seen it many times in my own life. I can be gregarious and entertaining when I want, but often around strange white people I assume a quiet, subdued pose. It's a defense mechanism that allows me to scope out the scene before I reveal my true self.
But, I can't tell you how many times I have white people or their surrogates tell me "You need to lighten up more. You're too serious. Be more friendly." I remember one woman gave me this spiel and I told her that I was always extremely polite to everyone at work. She said "Well being polite isn't the same thing as being friendly, you need to crack a joke sometimes."
Crack a joke.
Black people are not here to entertain white people. We are not here to make them laugh, we are not here to make them cry, we are not here to make them angry. We are human beings living our lives just like them. We are under no obligation to make them "smile."
Barack Obama is running to be the most powerful politician in America during one of the most unsettled times in this country's history. And white folks are wondering if he is going to lose because he doesn't make them smile?
Shuffle, shuffle... Dance, jig, dance.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Storytime in Lunatic Land
So I have this friend.
She's from New Orleans like me and we went to college together. Real smart woman, almost as smart as me. She has placed herself in a position to earn a LOT of money one day due to studying hard and sticking with her career through stuff I probably couldn't have handled.
She's a cool chick.
Anyway, during her recent job search this friend of mine sent out resumes to folks detailing her classifications and whatnot. The resumes clearly listed her alma-mater as the wonderful Howard University, which to those of you who don't know is the preeminent HBCU in America. (Those of you who disagree can complain on your own blogs. Ha!)
Because Howard University is listed as her alma mater for her undergraduate and secondary degrees, my friend assumed that all potential employers would know she was black. Plus, she's got a black name. So, she expected that this would be a hindrance with some folks, and possibly a help with others. But, no matter what, she assumed folks would know what they were getting when they contacted her for an interview.
Y'all know assumptions are a fool.
Anyway, one older white gentleman calls my friend and decides he wants to talk to her about a position with his business. Not only is the man looking to hire an employee, but eventually he would like to make that person a full partner. He's also offering a very competitive salary.
So, my friend is ecstatic to hear from the man because she likes the idea of making money, and would like to do so pretty soon. She engages the man in conversation for at least an hour, and they discuss their common beliefs about their profession in detail. My friend thinks the interview is going extremely well and is starting to lose that sick feeling she's had since she started her job hunt.
Then it happens.
Out of the blue the man tells my friend something like this:
Of course my friend was shocked. So shocked she was pretty much speechless. After all, she and the man had not been discussing her race or gender during their hour long conversation. Furthermore, she had no idea the man had decided she wasn't getting the job because all indications were that her qualifications were on-point and her interview was going well. So, not only did the man find the most effed up way to let her know she wasn't getting hired, but he also did so in a way that would guarantee that she would be questioning the racial dynamics of the situation for weeks.
And then, a short while after getting off the phone with her, the man called back just to tell my friend that he wasn't a racist and he'd had a black person working in his office at one time, and currently had an Asian working there. Yes, he called and said that.
Not only did my friend waste her time talking to this guy on the phone, but thanks to his general asshatery (WNG) she can't go on any other interviews without wondering if her race or gender is causing her problems. She found herself analyzing her conversation with another potential employer because she wondered if he was being short with her because she was black or because he was just busy. She's wondering if she can get a fair shake in Louisiana in her field, or if she should just pack and move to another state.
All because of one conversation.
That's how powerful prejudice can be. I don't want to give racist too much credit, but to be able to effect somebody's life that much with a single comment is pretty diabolical. I'm pretty sure things will work out for my friend, but imagine all the extra stress she could have avoided in an already stressful job hunting endeavor if she could have avoided this gentleman's idiocy? How many years did this whole exercise shave off her life?
And that is the end of my tale.
She's from New Orleans like me and we went to college together. Real smart woman, almost as smart as me. She has placed herself in a position to earn a LOT of money one day due to studying hard and sticking with her career through stuff I probably couldn't have handled.
She's a cool chick.
Anyway, during her recent job search this friend of mine sent out resumes to folks detailing her classifications and whatnot. The resumes clearly listed her alma-mater as the wonderful Howard University, which to those of you who don't know is the preeminent HBCU in America. (Those of you who disagree can complain on your own blogs. Ha!)
Because Howard University is listed as her alma mater for her undergraduate and secondary degrees, my friend assumed that all potential employers would know she was black. Plus, she's got a black name. So, she expected that this would be a hindrance with some folks, and possibly a help with others. But, no matter what, she assumed folks would know what they were getting when they contacted her for an interview.
Y'all know assumptions are a fool.
Anyway, one older white gentleman calls my friend and decides he wants to talk to her about a position with his business. Not only is the man looking to hire an employee, but eventually he would like to make that person a full partner. He's also offering a very competitive salary.
So, my friend is ecstatic to hear from the man because she likes the idea of making money, and would like to do so pretty soon. She engages the man in conversation for at least an hour, and they discuss their common beliefs about their profession in detail. My friend thinks the interview is going extremely well and is starting to lose that sick feeling she's had since she started her job hunt.
Then it happens.
Out of the blue the man tells my friend something like this:
"Uh, I don't want you to get offended or think I'm a racist or anything, but I wanted to let you know that your not getting this job is not going to have anything to do with the fact that you're black and a female."
Of course my friend was shocked. So shocked she was pretty much speechless. After all, she and the man had not been discussing her race or gender during their hour long conversation. Furthermore, she had no idea the man had decided she wasn't getting the job because all indications were that her qualifications were on-point and her interview was going well. So, not only did the man find the most effed up way to let her know she wasn't getting hired, but he also did so in a way that would guarantee that she would be questioning the racial dynamics of the situation for weeks.
And then, a short while after getting off the phone with her, the man called back just to tell my friend that he wasn't a racist and he'd had a black person working in his office at one time, and currently had an Asian working there. Yes, he called and said that.
Not only did my friend waste her time talking to this guy on the phone, but thanks to his general asshatery (WNG) she can't go on any other interviews without wondering if her race or gender is causing her problems. She found herself analyzing her conversation with another potential employer because she wondered if he was being short with her because she was black or because he was just busy. She's wondering if she can get a fair shake in Louisiana in her field, or if she should just pack and move to another state.
All because of one conversation.
That's how powerful prejudice can be. I don't want to give racist too much credit, but to be able to effect somebody's life that much with a single comment is pretty diabolical. I'm pretty sure things will work out for my friend, but imagine all the extra stress she could have avoided in an already stressful job hunting endeavor if she could have avoided this gentleman's idiocy? How many years did this whole exercise shave off her life?
And that is the end of my tale.
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