Just a Few Questions If You Have Time

"Sucker think he tough, sucker think he can whup me? He can't whup me, his whole style is chump."



"Why don't you tell all these nice folks why you been ducking me? It's politics man, this whole country wants to keep me down 'cause I'm not a puppet like that chump."


"I want him dead. I want his family. I want his house burned to the ground. I want to go there in the middle of the night and I want to piss on the ashes."



Why?

Why Mr. Jackson why?

You know I had to ask that question, right?

Why?

Did he teabag you? Did he grab his crotch during a basketball game? Were his pants just too tight?

Why the fascination with balls? And clenching your first while talking about balls? That didn't seem nasty to you?

And why are you whispering about your testicle fascination like a sneaky schoolgirl? Why are you doing it while sitting inside the belly of the beast?

Did you even notice that the cat you were talking too really wasn't trying to hear what you were saying? Didn't you see that cat's face saying "Leave me the phuck alone you crazy bastard?"

Don't you know that no grown man wants to hear about balls from another man? I'm assuming you understand that balls are only a topic of conversation among cats who really, REALLY like balls, right?.

Something you want to tell us Rev?

Why didn't you learn your lesson about off-the-cuff remarks? Why would you trust the bastards at the Hitler News Service? Did you learn nothing from Hymietown? Do you even REMEMBER Hymietown? ARE YOU EFFING SENILE?

*Deep breaths. Breathe, that's right breathe.*

Why would gift wrap this dumbass issue for the media? Do you know that Iran and Israel are playing swords right now? You do realize that W can't wait to whip his little man out, right?

Aren't you a Reverend? Is "nuts" a regular part of your vocabulary? And why are you mad about what Obama said about faith-based organizations? Why is that a ball-cutting offense? Do you even like God?

*sigh*

Why would you say something that would bring back up The Father's Day debate among black folks? Aren't you just the little bit embarrassed that your own son had to check you? Do you like looking like a damn fool? Is kissing the ass of white folks something that gets you off? (Don't answer that.)

Why?

I mean, just why?

Tell me please.

Playing to Win...Or Not

I've never purchased a lottery ticket.

Even when the jackpot has gotten up over $300 million dollars, I could not convince myself to spend the a dollar on a lottery ticket. I've often dreamed about how I would spend lottery winnings; the houses I would buy, the debts I would eliminate, but I would never purchase a ticket.


I'm pretty pleased about that decision after reading this story.

According to that story, the state lotteries in New Jersey and Florida have been selling folks scratch off tickets that have absolutely no shot of winning the grand prize. In fact, in one instance, the Florida lottery was still selling tickets for a contest a MONTH after the grand prize had been won. The story doesn't say if the practice is common in other states, but I'm pretty sure it is.

Understandably, people are pissed and some of them want to sue.

Of course, the lottery folks are claiming that they always provide an explanation of the prize to customers so there should not be a misunderstanding. That's a big, steaming pile of cow pie.

If lottery officials actually told customers outright that there was no shot they could win the big jackpot because that jackpot had already been awarded, nobody would purchase lottery tickets. Americans may be dumb, but we ain't stupid.

I've never enjoyed gambling, but I understand that some folks get a thrill from it. The idea that you can win $300 million just by spending $1 on a lottery ticket is very enticing. So, I don't look down on folks who gamble and I feel their pain at being duped.

This is a clear example of a corporation, one with ties to most state governments, selling the public inferior goods with the hope of making a quick buck. If the practice was perfectly legitimate, you wouldn't have seen lottery officials scrambling to change their rules once the news got out. They would have stood by their "fair" product and dealt with the fallout.

However, while I find lottery corporation's decision wrong, there is another part of me that finds the whole situation humorous. Although I try not to judge, there is still a part of me that finds gambling behavior to be stupid and counterproductive. I also understand the lottery corporation's argument that since the second, third and fourth place prizes were still available, folks weren't getting cheated completely.

After all, when most people purchase a lottery ticket, I assume that they don't really expect to win. They have to be aware of the outrageous odds against them. So, in a sense, they've already resigned themselves to the idea that they are spending money without a credible chance of getting anything. Logically, the fact that there is absolutely no chance for them to win shouldn't be a big deal.

Ah, that would only be true if humans weren't human.

No matter the odds, most humans still believe in their unique luck. It's why some of us never buckle our seat belts, don't use condoms and play the lottery. We're certain that we are different, that we are special and that the regular rules of probability don't apply to us. It's foolish and often dangerous.

But, it's human.

(Yep, a whole post with no mention of the dreaded "R" word. I know some of y'all didn't think I could do it.)

Get That Bass Out Your Voice

I don't talk like a white boy.

That may be costing me money, according to this article.

You know, I can't say I'm surprised by this news. It was only a few years ago that word got out that black folks were getting shafted when it came to job interviews because of our "ethnic" names.

A Harvard study, if I'm not mistaken, found that Keisha and Tyrone were 50 percent less likely to get a call back for a job than Becky and Channing. This was true even if their resumes were exactly the same. So, I can't say that it's exactly shocking that "sounding black" hurts your employment chances as well.

But, it's still depressing.

Sometimes I get tired of being black. It doesn't mean I want to be anything else; I love being a brother. But, I do get tired of dealing with everything that comes along with having this skin color and a basic understand of the way the world works.

Y'all know what I'm talking about. We have to be the racial interpreter, we have to take a stand when bigotry raises its head, we have to represent the entire race, we just have to do too damn much. As soon as you think you've gotten past one obstacle, another one drops into your path.

*Sigh*

I read this old article on Time's website that was entitled "The Meaning of White" the other day. Here it is if any of you all are interested. The article explores white identity issues and how differently white people view discrimination from black people.

One of the things that jumped out at me was that many white people see being black as a disadvantage, but don't see being white as an advantage. That seems like a serious logic disconnect, but the survey found that it was fairly common among white people. They also trusted the judicial system more than black people.

Reading both of those articles only made me more disgusted at the state of the world. This new issue about "sounding black" is just more proof that black people are getting screwed while white people are getting extra help. Yet, it still won't be enough to convince most white folks that they achieved their present success through anything their hard work and determination. It's almost as if there is no proof that will ever change people's minds about the benefits of being white.

Arrggghhhh!


That point was driven home as I got towards the end of the article on "sounding black." The author decided to provide some solutions for dealing with discrimination that he apparently has given minorities. Basically, he suggested rapid and wholesale assimilation into white culture. That's it.

You know, it takes a special type of arrogance to write a column pointing out a possible injustice and instead of calling on people to leave behind their prejudices, you advocate that the victims stop making themselves such tempting targets.

The solution to discrimination is not asking minorities to make themselves more palatable to white people. We've been trying that for centuries and it just doesn't work. Black people should know by now that no matter how you dress, speak or walk, you will never shed your skin. You may get along as an acceptable Negro for a while, but eventually you will cross some imaginary line and be deported from Whiteville back to Niggertown.

It's going to happen.

The solution is aggressively attacking discrimination, racism and injustice. The solution is making a big freaking deal when news like this comes out because this sort of news only validates the claims that minorities have made for years without empirical evidence. We have to stop brushing off proof of racism and discrimination as "no big deal" before moving on to the next issue. And by we, I don't just mean white folks, I mean everybody because all of us ignore some form of injustice because it just doesn't matter to us.

That's wiggity-wiggity wack.

Word.

Why You Scared?

Fear can be a potent poison.

It can stop your heart, immobilize your limbs and numb your brain. Its toxins destroy the cognitive ability of neurons like a child destroys white walls.

Fear is contagious.

You've seen it spring from host to host like a parasitic gymnast. You've watched it burrows into people's psyches; seen it take up residence behind their eyes and turn them into soulless puppets. Fear transforms crowds into mobs and heroes into cowards.

Fear also makes people stupid.

Exhibit A.

The young Vietnamese teenager in that article pulled herself up by her proverbial bootstraps and reached the apex of academic achievement in her small town. She and her cousin were named valedictorians of their class. And, as that young woman enjoyed the view from the summit she had struggled to reach, she decided to give a personal thank you to her parents for their help along her journey.

She gave that "thank you" in Vietnamese.

And people went crazy.

Those crazy people called for rules against speaking anything but English in graduation speeches. They puffed out their chests and talked about patriotism and proper decorum. They questioned her motives and her translation. They became concerned and afraid.

Eventually that fear had a baby named anger.

What was the source of that anger? Was it a general unease at the unknown? Was it a animosity caused by exclusion?

I think it was a fear of losing power.

See, it's one thing for an "other" like this Vietnamese girl to manage to outwork and out think all the "true Americans" and become the valedictorian. That's bad, but understandable. Those Asians can be crafty after all.

However, it's quite another thing when the same other who beat out "true Americans" starts spouting coded messages that "true Americans" can't comprehend. Then, questions arise about the other's motives, about their allegiances, about who or what they really love.

It becomes about power.

See, that school system felt a power shift when that young Vietnamese girl not only bested every "real American" in a battle of wits, but then had the temerity to reveal her true allegiances.

That decision crossed a line, it made the issue not about freedom of speech but about whether this young woman and others like her are a threat. Her actions said to "true Americans" that she didn't care if they were comfortable; she didn't care if they were happy. Her actions said that if she had something she wanted to do, the feelings of "true Americans" were not her concern.

And that's scary.

It's scary to those individuals who believe that white is right. It frightens those individuals who believe that minorities will revolt if tight control is not maintained. After all, they know that's how they would react if the situations were reversed.

These people see the rising number of un-true Americans" in this country and they feel the power shift that is looming. They fight against that power shift in small and large ways; sometimes its sentencing disparities and racial profiling, other times its requiring English in graduation speeches. But, all these measures have fear at their core.

The sad thing is that this fear is unnecessary. Most minorities do not want revenge, we just want peace and equality. We are not out to "get whitey," we just want to get whitey off our backs!

Some of us may hoard power, influence and opportunity when given a chance, but that's because we're human not because we're not "true Americans.". There is no massive conspiracy to right every historical wrong; no master plan that all the minorities are working to carry out..

The poisonous and contagious fear that has found solace in the hearts of "true Americans" only hurts them and their children. It only prevents the progress they desperately want to occur. Fear justifies any reaction and provides an excuse for every evil. Fear steals our humanity.

It's time to move past that fear.