Bob and Weave Obama, Bob and Weave

Everybody knows that black people can't resist a good conspiracy.

Whether it's reports about a secret Jewish cabal that rules the world, or a special chemical that shrinks your dick in Mountain Dew, black people are widely believed to be the biggest conspiracy theorists in America. Now, that doesn't mean that white folks don't have some crazy ideas of their own, but as with most things black folks are the ones who've gotten the bad reputation.

This stereotype about black people typically pops up whenever we make some claim about the American government or its white citizens that seems too crazy to be true. You know, like claiming that the CIA turned a blind eye to narcotics trafficking into black communities because it benefited the right rebels, or that the FBI secretly tapped the phones, homes and hotel rooms of black leaders to create plans to actively fight their efforts to gain racial justice, or that the government issued placebos to black folks with syphilis just to see how the disease affected the mind. Now black folks aren't always right when it comes to their conspiracy theories (the legend of Yacub comes to mind), but typically we have a much better grasp on the heinous capabilities of this country than any other ethnic group.

Now, I've taken you all down this road because I recently read an article that when combined with some previous information floating around the blogosphere caused my potential conspiracy bells to start ringing. I want to be clear that I am not making any accusations or even presenting any fact; I'm just wondering aloud.

Will the Secret Service keep Barack Obama safe?

Here's why I ask that potentially loaded question. A few weeks back on the very first Super Tuesday, Barack Obama was drawing massive crowds in Texas and all was right with the world. Then, a story started floating around the black blogosphere that at an Obama event in Dallas, the security provided by the Secret Service wasn't quite secure. In that story, Dallas police said they were told by the Secret Service to stop searching folks coming into an arena to hear Obama speak because the group "looked pretty safe."

The Secret Service denied these allegations and nothing really came of the incident. A few weeks later there was an incident in Philly where some crazy autograph seeker bum-rushed an Obama event and actually got all up in his face when Obama initially refused to sign something for him. Finally, earlier this week I stumbled across another story about the Secret Service that cast the Dallas and Philly incidents in a whole new light.

I must admit I was only vaguely aware that the Secret Service was facing a bias lawsuit for passing over black employees for promotions. I think I heard a little about a noose incident with the Secret Service during all the "noose-gates" that swept across country in the wake of the Jena issue, but it didn't really register with me.

However, when I read that article I realized that like every law enforcement agency the Secret Service apparently has a problem with racial issues within its ranks. If you check out the jokes made by supervisors it's clear that there is a certain mindset about minorities common within the agency.

And that's why I wonder about Obama's safety.

Look, I know even discussing the possible safety risks of an Obama presidency is off-limits and can provide cover to those idiots searching for any reason not to vote for him. Yet, like most black people, I've let a nervous chuckle slip from between my lips whenever I've heard a joke about all the evasive maneuvers Obama will have to take if he wins this election. It's a joke that almost every black person understands because most of us have grown up certain about one thing.

There are some crazy motherfuckers out there.

So, I'm troubled that not only does the Secret Service appear to not like black people in general, but that they also seem to be fairly lax when it comes to protecting the black dude with a great shot of becoming their next boss. See, I understand that it doesn't take one massive mistake for something bad to happen, typically it's a bunch of little mistakes that add up to disaster.

And if the Secret Service views black people as whiny idiots who love to play the victim, then why would they push themselves to the fullest to protect that Head Whiny Negro in Charge (HWNC)? They probably won't lay down their weapons and just let and assassin snuff out Obama, but they might not check every single closet as closely as they would for a guy they like.

I think we as a public need to be aware of this possibility and be vigilant in pointing out even the slightest sign that Obama isn't getting adequate protection, and we need to be vociferous in our complaints. While we should avoid harping on the idea that Obama's campaign is a death march, we need to be honest about the dangers that he faces in attempting to upset what some people view as the natural order of things.

Even paranoid people have enemies.