No post today, but I hope to have something up tomorrow. This virus or whatever that is circling the nation keeps settling on my house and it's made life a revolving door of misery. Anyway, I'll work hard to have something to entertain y'all for tomorrow, which happens to be Mardi Gras and one of the biggest holidays in the city.
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Monday, February 23, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Top Ten for the Weekend
As a man, I like lists. So, here are my Top Ten thoughts from this past week for y'all to ponder over the weekend.
1. Monkeys and black people don't go together. If you're making a joke and it involves a monkey and a black person, you're probably going to get called a racist. It doesn't matter if the black person is implied, or if the monkey is really evil. If a black person can be connected through six degrees of separation with your monkey, then don't make the joke.
2. Keep your damn hands to yourself. That's a carryover from last week but it's still relevant this week. Doesn't matter what gender you are, how much you weigh or how angry you might be, hitting is not cool if you don't want to get hit back. Period. Do not depend on men, or women, doing some sort of threat analysis before they respond to your violence. Expect them to beat your ass if you touch them. That's a good rule of thumb for everybody. Expect ass whippings when you touch people. It will make you more cautious and probably a better person.
3. Al Sharpton has a knack for saying good stuff, but he still has a perm. That's about it. Good public speaker, horrible Dark and Lovely.
4. All of your black friends have worked with racists. In fact, if you're black and haven't worked with a racist, then you should run for president in 2016 because you are the luckiest person on the planet. This doesn't mean that all black people deal with racism everyday, or that everybody is a racist. It just means that if you assume that black people automatically leave situations when they spot racism, well you don't know jack shit about black people. Black people have bills like everybody else. Nobody is going to pay our bills just because we can't handle racism. Besides, dealing with racists is good for your brain. It keeps you alert.
5. This stimulus package is massive and I'm still not convinced it's going to work. However, people who voted for George Bush, but oppose the stimulus just because it gives out money, are hypocritical dicks. This country has been feeding at the free money trough for the past eight years. If you didn't speak up before when your guy was in office, I'm going to look askance at your push for fiscal responsibility now. True, you could have had a legitimate change of heart... And Scientology could be a real religion and not a massive scheme concocted by a mediocre science fiction writer.
6. Monkeys again. If you need to sedate your pet with Xanax, it's probably not a pet. It's a ticking time bomb and when it tries to eat you, well, that's YOUR bad.
7. Allen Iverson cut his hair. He also plays on a horrible basketball team. One thing makes me happy, the other one makes me sad. A man over 30-years old can rock cornrows only so long before he looks like a herb. Iverson's innate coolness protected him for years, but even he was starting to crack under the pressure. And I hate Rasheed Wallace.
8. If you have children, love them hard and protect them harder. Too many folks don't give their kids enough love and those children then search in all the wrong places for that love. There are too many of the wrong people who are more then willing to fill a void in your child's life. They will hurt your child more than you can imagine. Don't give them an opportunity.
9. This post-racial utopia is really picking up steam, right?
10. Officer patting down black man: "What do you got there?"
Black man with his hands above his head: "Thaaaat's my penis."
Officer: "That's your penis... Oh... Sorry about that..."
Enjoy your weekend everybody.
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1. Monkeys and black people don't go together. If you're making a joke and it involves a monkey and a black person, you're probably going to get called a racist. It doesn't matter if the black person is implied, or if the monkey is really evil. If a black person can be connected through six degrees of separation with your monkey, then don't make the joke.
2. Keep your damn hands to yourself. That's a carryover from last week but it's still relevant this week. Doesn't matter what gender you are, how much you weigh or how angry you might be, hitting is not cool if you don't want to get hit back. Period. Do not depend on men, or women, doing some sort of threat analysis before they respond to your violence. Expect them to beat your ass if you touch them. That's a good rule of thumb for everybody. Expect ass whippings when you touch people. It will make you more cautious and probably a better person.
3. Al Sharpton has a knack for saying good stuff, but he still has a perm. That's about it. Good public speaker, horrible Dark and Lovely.
4. All of your black friends have worked with racists. In fact, if you're black and haven't worked with a racist, then you should run for president in 2016 because you are the luckiest person on the planet. This doesn't mean that all black people deal with racism everyday, or that everybody is a racist. It just means that if you assume that black people automatically leave situations when they spot racism, well you don't know jack shit about black people. Black people have bills like everybody else. Nobody is going to pay our bills just because we can't handle racism. Besides, dealing with racists is good for your brain. It keeps you alert.
5. This stimulus package is massive and I'm still not convinced it's going to work. However, people who voted for George Bush, but oppose the stimulus just because it gives out money, are hypocritical dicks. This country has been feeding at the free money trough for the past eight years. If you didn't speak up before when your guy was in office, I'm going to look askance at your push for fiscal responsibility now. True, you could have had a legitimate change of heart... And Scientology could be a real religion and not a massive scheme concocted by a mediocre science fiction writer.
6. Monkeys again. If you need to sedate your pet with Xanax, it's probably not a pet. It's a ticking time bomb and when it tries to eat you, well, that's YOUR bad.
7. Allen Iverson cut his hair. He also plays on a horrible basketball team. One thing makes me happy, the other one makes me sad. A man over 30-years old can rock cornrows only so long before he looks like a herb. Iverson's innate coolness protected him for years, but even he was starting to crack under the pressure. And I hate Rasheed Wallace.
8. If you have children, love them hard and protect them harder. Too many folks don't give their kids enough love and those children then search in all the wrong places for that love. There are too many of the wrong people who are more then willing to fill a void in your child's life. They will hurt your child more than you can imagine. Don't give them an opportunity.
9. This post-racial utopia is really picking up steam, right?
10. Officer patting down black man: "What do you got there?"
Black man with his hands above his head: "Thaaaat's my penis."
Officer: "That's your penis... Oh... Sorry about that..."
Enjoy your weekend everybody.
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Thursday, February 19, 2009
Morning Funny
The real post for today is below this, but I ran across this video at Denmark Vesey's blog, and I had to post it. This has gotten my day off to a wonderful start.
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A Thousand Words
What does that say to you?
Is it a funny pun about rampaging chimpanzees and the ridiculous size and scope of President Obama's stimulus plan? The kind of joke that pokes funny at those always idiotic politicians we seem to send to Washington every year?
Or, does it say something darker. Does it seem to you that this cartoon is advocating that a "monkey" like President Obama should be shot for even attempting to pass something like the stimulus package. A reminder that this "monkey's" tenure as president has barely begun and already he's out of control and needs to be put down.
What do you see?
I'm sure most of y'all can guess what I saw in that picture. And, those of you who have discussed racism with folks in the general public can probably guess what the many commenters on blogs and websites across the country saw as well. Obviously, they were not the same.
On my sidebar, I have a famous quote from W.E.B. DuBois that talks about life as a black man in America; the masks we wear, the double consciousness we must possess. This photo reminds me of the existence of that double consciousness.
After all, without trying, I was able to understand both potential meanings of this cartoon. I instinctively knew how the New York Post would respond to any criticism of the commentary and I knew how the general public would react and what their explanation would be. A chimp had just gone crazy the day before, bitten off a woman's hands and been shot by the police. Obviously there was obviously a valid reason for connecting chimps and police shooting.
My ability to predict the future wasn't some mystical gift. It's not that I'm blessed with an incredible amount of foresight, it's just that discussions of race have become so mired in a morass of recriminations and denials that it's hard NOT to predict the future.
I knew how many white people would react to this picture because it's in my best interest to know that information. Conversely, many white people seem shocked that a black person would have a problem with this picture because it's not in their best interest to have that kind of double consciousness.
Honestly, what benefit is there for most white people in knowing what offends or bothers black people? What benefit is there for people of any race? It probably won't you get a job or buy a home, it won't make you money, and it'll probably just make your life more difficult. If you worry about what black people find offensive, then you have to change your jokes, have uncomfortable conversations with family and friends, and generally interrupt your very settled and comfortable life. Who wants to do that?
It's much easier to say, as one commenter on TMZ put it: "Only a person who can't see past race would see this photo as racist." That neatly shifts the blame for being offended to those kooky people who go out of their way to find reasons for offense. So smooth. That way, you can feel superior and brave. You're telling an inconvenient truth and black folks and their sympathizers need to understand how the real world works. Lovely.
Truthfully, there are some legitimate questions to be asked about the response to this pic. After all, President Bush was compared to a monkey and black people didn't think that was racism. Here's a refresher, if you don't remember:
Only, from where I'm sitting, none of those pictures involve the former president getting shot. I mean, he looks funny, but he's not dead after being shot by the police. Just an observation. And, while the actual chimp was killed, that was only after he attacked an officer inside a patrol car. Originally, he was led away alive and in shackles.
See, that makes all the difference in my mind. It's not about me searching for a reason to be offended, it's about me having an understanding of the subtle messages society feeds us about the lives of black people and how to handle black people when they get out of line. Furthermore, my feeble mind is struggling to see how the shooting death of a rabid chimp relates to those people who worked on the stimulus.
Are they being compared to rabid chimps? If so, why? What about their actions shows that they are engaging in uncontrolled violence? There are far easier ways to make the point that the individuals who constructed the stimulus package and championed it were bumbling apes. I don't quite understand how comparing them to a violent monkey that was eventually shoot serves that purpose. A friend of mine posited that it might be an allusion to an old mathematical theorem about a chimp pecking away at a typewriter. But, that seemed a little too abstract for the Post.
Being attuned and informed about historical and current events makes it impossible for me to look at that cartoon and not see the connection between President Obama and a dead monkey. That would be like me seeing a picture of Lil' Kim today, and not being reminded of the damage European beauty standards do to black women everyday.
Unfortunately, that picture doesn't speak to everyone the same way, and neither do most things in the world. It's unlikely that we'll ever reach a consensus on subtle racial matters.
The monkey business will continue.
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