I'd Like to Erase You

Some of y'all probably read The Root, or as I like to call it, the Washington Post's Essie Mae Washington-Williams.

I don't really read the site. Every once in a while I might stop through, but it's not something I check out regularly. Honestly, I've found a couple of insightful posts over there, but many times what they write, and what I think is intelligent, aren't matching up. That's just me.

For the most part, I just ignore it. It really ain't no skin off my back, even if their bipster commentary provides cover for certain types of white folks. The black community has room for all kinds of viewpoints, and while the viewpoints expressed there might not make me happy, I'll live.

Well, that was until cats decided to show their hindparts for Black History month. Check out this post on black folks the website would like to erase from Black History and this one about white folks who should be issued a hood pass.

Obviously, I have an issue with these posts despite the fact that I'm sure the site was trying to play them for their comedic value. First problem, them joints ain't funny! They are trafficking in the same banal cliches that have been around for generations, and passing it off as witty insight.

How many jokes about black folks being embarrassed does the world really need? I touched on this a while back here, and the message is still the same. If you are embarrassed by the actions of random black people who have no connection whatsoever to you, then you have been infected with the Sickness.

White folks have convinced you that there are Dem Negroes and Good Negroes, and you are desperately trying to jump on team Good Negro. Stop it, you're only embarrassing yourself. Playing that game, the game where black folks have to police themselves in order to prove that they deserve to be respected members of white society is a sucka's bet.

Hell, one of the folks they have listed on the list of black folks to dump is Marion Barry. Yes, Barry is a walking "Just Say No" advertisement, but you telling me that his foibles completely outweigh his good deeds? The Root is saying that it doesn't matter that Barry participated in sit-ins in the South, that he organized voters in the North, nope, all that matter is that he allowed corruption and narcotics to gain power over him. For that failure, he should have his blackness revoked.

Am I the only one who sees that as stupid? I'm not trying to gloss over Barry's problems, they are legendary, but to suggest that dude's problems should get him cast out of the black race shows either shocking ignorance or deplorable arrogance.

I still can't decided whether it's ignorance or arrogance when I consider the list about white folks who could be black. Phil Jackson, Jeremy Shockey, Anderson Cooper and Brian Urlacher? What kind of ridiculous, half-baked nonsense gets green lighted over there? (For the record, Bill Clinton's blackness was deemed a "no." Guess his racist comments during the election were enough to get his hood pass revoked. For more on Bill Clinton's real feelings about black people, check out the homie Temple 3's website and his piece on the Clinton Plan for Africa.)

Are the good folks at The Root unaware that Urlacher was sued by a black woman because he didn't visit his child for months and wasn't paying his child support? Or that he used to bang Paris Hilton? Or maybe that's what solidifies Urlacher's blackness, his unwillingness to care for his seeds and his willingness to sleep with even the most vile of racist airheads to get a nut? Guess that makes him Pale Mandingo Number One, right?

It's pure insanity that an editor read both of these lists and found them insightful, entertaining and valuable. Come on now, nobody raised the question about what the lists said about "blackness"? Why were these particular white folks almost black? A friend of mine noted that it was like the selection criteria read like this: 1. swagger. 2. street cred. 3. weed. 4. talking beaucoup smack.

What does it mean that Ice T's perpetually half-naked wife Coco was considered for honorary blackness? Or that African child stealer Madonna, who has insisted on ignoring numerous troubled dark-skinned babies here in America to steal, er, import, I mean adopt from the motherland, was also under consideration?

It says that the whole damn list was pap, and it was even worse pap for being trotted out as some sort of ode to Black History. It says that often times the people who hurt black folks the most are other black folks who think they're us a favor. (Crack Cocaine sentencing disparity anyone?) It says that obviously Black History month has been hijacked, sidetracked and ransacked by folks who are no longer interested in Dr. Carter G. Woodson's legacy.

It says I need my damn eraser right now.






Share