Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I'm Waiting

Waiting for the rants to begin.

Waiting for the angry blogs and comments about how certain people just don't have any gratitude.

Waiting to hear about how hypocrisy seems to know no color.

Waiting to see slurs and protests and people throwing up their hands in disgust at "those people."

Basically, I'm waiting to see all the white folks in Maine treated the way black folks in California got treated a few months ago now that gay marriage has been repealed in that state.

I'm waiting.

Good thing I ain't holding my breath.

I wrote about this during the initial backlash regarding the defeat of Prop 8 in Cali. I pointed out that some folks were a tad bit too willing to start slinging around slurs and insults once they didn't get their way. I noted that black people were being scapegoated by gay rights activists, and I wondered why that seemed to come so easily.

So, now I'm still wondering. Gay marriage was repealed by the citizens of a "liberal" state despite overwhelming support by politicians and the media. Yet, I don't see the citizens of this state receiving the same level of hatred and scorn as my colored folks down in Cali. And like a friend of mine noted, I'd be hardpressed to get an all black 5 on 5 run in Maine. Really, really hardpressed.

I see people upset and I see them disappointed, but I don't see the same level of vitriol this time around despite the fact that this is the same sort of defeat. It seems like without the handy-dandy Negro as a convienent scapegoat, people learn how to deal with anger constructively. They avoid widespread generalizations and promises to "hate back."

Seems these folks understand self control, they just decided not to practice it when they were angry at black folks.

I've already made my position on gay marriage clear on this site. I don't think the government should be refusing these people the right to marry. I think the claims that this will be a detriment to hetereosexual marriage are really appeals to people's willingness to selectively apply the word of God. So, while I view homosexuality as a sin and think God intended marriage to be between a man and woman, I don't the United States of America is any position to be trying to enforce the will of God.

That said, I, like many black folks, have always been aware of the undercurrent of racism in the gay community. Black folks may be paranoid, but that often helps us recognize our enemies. And the truth is, most of the gay folks pushing for gay marriage weren't friends of black people. Period.

So, when folks tried to pretend that the backlash from the gay community towards black folks in California was justified and sensible, I knew what was up. When folks were acting as if black people "owed" them something because they helped elect President Obama, well I really saw the truth. I peeped game and named names. And I'm doing it now.

If you chastised all the Negroes and let us have a piece of your mind back then, but now don't see the need to behave the same way now, then I'm guessing you're a racist.

And I'm waiting to hear you admit it.



LisaMJ said...

Yeah, it's a good thinkd your breath b/c you'd be passed out on the floor with brain damage due to lack of oxygen and would be about ready to leave this earth. Oh well, you know everything is our fault. Shoot they are trying to blame a lack of black and youth turnout for the losses in NJ and VA governor's mansions. Might be true, but why do we always have to be the whipping boy (people). SIGH. Oh well, at least we know hypocracy knows no sexual orientation.

LisaMJ said...

Meant to say it was a good thing, not thinkd. I'm also wainting to see Dan Savage eat some crow.

LisaMJ said...

AHRGGG I am having serious editing trouble "It was a good thing you didn't hold your breath b/c" Jeez Louise.

Darth Whitey said...

I wuzn't one of them so I'm clean hah!

Deacon Blue said...

Hadn't thought of that aspect...I was just disappointed then and disappointed now (from a purely secular-oriented equality mindset), but since I hadn't blamed black folks before, I had forgotten all about that issue and how it isn't replicated toward Maine in any comparable manner.

Please, please don't hold your breath on this waiting for comparable vitriol. Nor anyone else who reads here. We already had that recent high-profile asphyxiation thing with David Carradine...let's keep all y'all conscious and alive.


Anonymous said...

Excellent post! As you know I live in Maine and yeah there are a few rumblings on places like Twitter that folks should boycott Maine. The reality is our streets will be clogged come next summer with tourists.

As for the locals here who were pulling for this there is a mild backlash against Christians who are seen and bigoted. Of course Maine is a pretty secular place so even that is a poor argument.

I agree that no one wants to address the racist undercurrents than run in the gay world.

Darth Whitey said...

I guess if a demographic group (besides religious) is found to have voted disproportionately against the measure then there might be something.

Tit for Tat said...

And the truth is, most of the gay folks pushing for gay marriage weren't friends of black people. Period.

Too funny, does an Evangelical Christian know "most" gay people. For that matter, do they actually even know one that intimately.
Paranoid is putting it mildly.

Imhotep said...

5 on 5? way too optimistic, not even enough for a half-court 3-on-3.

Could the argument be that Maine is a more reasoned, less vocal bunch? Could it be that Cali felt a greater sense of entitlement? Regardless, the silence coming out of Maine is quite deafening.

Big Man said...

Tit for Tat

I didn't get your comment.

Do you disagree with me that response in Cali and Maine has been different?

Do you disagree with me about the well documented undercurrent of racism in the gay community which has been lambasted by minority members of that community?

Do you think it's impossible for an evangelical Christian to know about gay people? To be friends with gay people?

What exactly are you saying and what are you rebutting?

Big Man said...

Imhotep and Darth

I don't know why the reaction is different, but clearly I have my suspcions.

As far as data not being available, the same date that was in Cali should be here

Tit for Tat said...

Big Man

Im poking at your propensity to make broad claims. If it aint whitey, then its the gay community. Rather than shitheads within the groups you tend to lump all together. Kind of like all black people like fried chicken. Know what I mean? :)

Imhotep said...

Tit, are you some kind of self appointed police, needing to validate the author's work? If you want to make a contribution, then comment on the subject, instead of hijacking the thread.

You're right about one thing, every group has it's shit head, and you're clearly the undisputed shit head of this group.

Brenda said...

Big Man,

I'm a bit late to the party with my comments {I live overseas in Sydney, Australia and I'm generally asleep when you post your insightful and thought provoking articles}; but this is a topic I was hoping that a talented wordsmith in the blogosphere would address.

I posted three very similar comments on HuffPost late last night after the final votes had been tallied, wondering aloud if there would be the an angry and loud backlash from the gay community in response to the voters in Maine repealing gay marriage, like what we saw in California after the defeat of Prop. 8? I also wondered aloud if the gay protesters would be singling out the small Black community in Maine for a particular protest in the defeat of gay marriage?

And least anyone try to accuse me of not knowing of what I speak - I am a textile designer and I've worked for and with primarily gay men in the fashion and textile design business. It was truly a shock to me, as an African-American woman to see first hand how racist the gay community is. Even here in Sydney, Australia - the gay community is very much segregated with non-white gay men frequenting their own discrete bars and private clubs. During the annual Gay Mardi Gras parade that draws thousands of gays and lesbians from around the world to Sydney, large segments of the parade are white gay male only.

And in case no one has heard of Chuck Knipp, I suggest you do a Goggle search for him. You will definitely have some success searching for the blackface minstrel character, "Shirley Q. Liquor", he's infamous for portraying in gay bars and clubs all across the US.

I don't have a problem with gays having the right to marry. My personal views about homosexuality are MY personal views and have nothing to do with someone's legal rights to marry or divorce.

But having said that, I've always had a deep seated problem with the gay community wanting to equate gay marriage with the hard fought civil rights that Black Americans marched for and in some cases, died for.

There is no way for me to hide the fact that I'm a Black woman. But I know of many a gay man, who keeps his true sexual orientation well hidden from his office coworkers, family members and even a wife {in one case}.

I think that it's a given that the gay community will be pretty much silent on the defeat of the gay marriage act in the Maine.

And how I wish {but I know it won't happen} that one or two of the so-called Black leaders would take this opportunity to speak openly on the hypocrisy and racism within the gay community.

Brenda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brenda said...

In the absence of a significant Black community in Maine to blame for the gay marriage law being overturned on Tuesday. The gay community has very predictably decided to placed the blame for this defeat squarely on the shoulders of President Barack Obama. Claiming that HE didn't do enough to stop this from happening.

I'm not even going to bother wasting everyone's time writing up a response to this crap.

The gay community is their own worse enemy. After Prop. 8 they should have known that those groups {re: the Mormon Church in particular} were going to ride that momentum and look at overturning gay marriage laws in the few states that have them.

Clifton said...

If President Obama was so cautious about upsetting the mainstream that he wouldn't admit to any racism being part of the attacks on him you know he wasn't about to go to Maine and speak out on gay marriage.

My personal opinion is that the gay and lesbian community can't throw mainstream white America under the bus for opposing gay marriage because they have the organization and media machine to bury their agenda forever. It's already a sensitive topic so they have to be strategic about how they respond.

Anonymous said...

Brenda, it would be hard for anyone to blame the Black community in Maine for this vote. There is like what 5000 of us here? Not that that would stop anyone from trying, nah it was definitely the older and religious folks who voted to repeal the law. In other words mainstream America, the thing is the gay movement expected victory in Maine because we are a liberal secular state, so it was surprising that folks voted this down.

Sadly I do see folks already talking about Obama and what che could have done. Dayum, folks expect Obama to be the magical Negro. Multiple wars and lousy economy and oh yeah get those gay rights in right away. Not to say these issues don't need to be addressed but as a Black woman in America I like another commenter am not comfortable with their plight being compared to the civil rights era. Sorry, but white privilege always comes first.

Big Man said...

Tit for Tat
I'm writing a commentary. I'm using my personal experiences and personal research to draw larger conclusion about things that happen.

Of course I use generalizations.

Do you feel that generalizations are inherently wrong? If so, do you apply that logic to every group?

Personally, I think that we all need to use generalizations to make broad points, but we need to have some sort of information to back up our generalizations.

Finally, I didn't say "all" people did anything.

If you said "many" black people or "most" black people like fried chicken, that would be true. But, then the question would become why are you making this comment, what's your purpose for making this observation?

My purpose for writing this article was to highlight the different response by a particular community to two very similar occurences. Actually, the Maine situation was actually a worse defeat since gay rights activists didnt' fact the same level of attack ads that they faced in Cali, and they had support from the majority of the local politicians. Yet, despite this crushing defeat, we don't see the same outpouring of anger, particularly anger towards a racial group.

I find that curious and I find it curious that despite all of the media attention played to the role of black folks int he last election we do not see similar attention being played to white people and their streak of "bigotry."

Big Man said...

Brenda and BGIM

Thanks for letting me know about the Obama backlash.

I've noticed that gay community has been consistent in its attacks against Obama and their sense that he isn't supporting them enough.

I wonder if black folks were saying the same thing how the mainstream media would portray us?

Bernadette Merikle said... many thoughts.

Maine v Cali. I think that is a lot about "Dude, I thought you had my back!". There are what...17 black people in Maine? That's just not enough folks to make a scape or a goat. Even if all 17 turned out, that joint wasn't passing.

Call me out there, but I DO see similarities between giving a group of folks rights to my own African American struggle. Maybe because I made my own "lifestyle choice" to marry a white dude (also taboo in places like, say, Louisiana). Maybe because while it's easy to say "I can't hide my black, you can hide your gay"...I mean...that's kinda blanket. Especially nowadays there are a LOT of folks who can "hide their black". And there are gay rights advocates who have also given their lives for their struggle as well.

All said, I don't ever get why people who are not being forced to do something (ie, have an abortion, marry someone of the same sex, marry someone of another race) are so certain that no one else should have those choices. As my sister used to always say to me:

Who died and made you God?
God forbid someone not even believe in your God, if a God at all.

Big Man said...

B. Merikle

I think that some people believe that laws should be based on what the majority finds morally wrong. As a black person, I can see the flaw in that logic, but I can also see why people make that choice. After all, there are plenty of behaviors that some people deem acceptable, that are actually against the law.

Also, my point was that in Cali, a racial group was targeted as being the reason why gay marriage failed. In Maine, despite the fact that a racial group, in this case white people, was responsible for gay marriage failing, that racial group isn't being targeted for scorn.

Why is race important to note in one situation, but not in the other? We at least need to have that discussion in the mainstream media, somebody needs to be forced to explain why it was so easy for racism to blossom after the results in Cali,but why that hasn't been the case here.

Anonymous said...

Yep, let the Obama blame fest begin. I was reading this and thought of your post.

Shady_Grady said...

This is a good post. As some pointed out above, absent of any black community in Maine to blame, some gays are blaming Obama. Will be interesting to see how this all works itself out. Everywhere gay marriage has gone for a popular vote, it's lost. That's not on Black people..

Thordaddy said...

Lil' man,

Radical homosexuals are supremacists.  This supremacy manifests in their exercise of radical autonomy.  This is evidenced most clearly in their rejection of heterosexuality and all that it entails.  So in California, a dynamic existed where a deal with another group of radical autonomists didn't get done.  This group would be mainstream black liberationists, i.e., radical autonomists.   In Cali existed an internecine battle.  Black liberationists in California did not come through for their unremarked mentors, radically autonomous homosexuals.

This dynamic does not exist in Maine.  Instead, you see one of the last schism between extreme liberalism and all out radical autonomy.  The white folks in Maine still love MAINE!!!   A radically autonomous Maine is nothing if not unknown.  

Dark Moon said...

Yup. Commentary is positively muted to non-existent as to the racial agenda of why Gay marriage failed, but Blacks were single handedly responsible for the failure in California. There are no deep analysis of exit polls of ignorant homophobic White people , or talking heads pontificating on CNN on why Whites are so woefully homophobic. Where is Dan Savage, Sullivan, and all those angry Gay white males saying they aren’t going to vacation in Maine and that Whites are the most racist homophobes on the planet. Don’t hear any White gays saying they are pulling their support from those ungrateful White people like they did Blacks.

Perhaps there was a secret Negro council that got bused to Maine (since that is one of the Whitest states in the union), voted surreptitiously and then got bused back to California to help defeat gay marriage. After all, Blacks have a preternatural propensity to be the most homophobic race on the planet, and Whites, who have consistently shot down must Gay marriage referendums in over 30 states, are simply voting in their interests and not with some Pavlovian reflex race streak. That honor is the sole province of Black people since we lack the ability to think and reason our way out of paper bag.

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

I won't repeat what's already been said, other than to say this was an outstanding post.

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