Exposure

Darkness cannot stand the light.

Whether it's darkness of the spirit, of the mind, or just plain physical darkness, the light and the dark cannot co-exist. If one is present, the other must depart.

People like darkness in their lives. They may claim to crave truth and honesty, but their actions expose that as a lie. No one wants to have the little lies that underpin their self image removed because they know that without that foundation the entire house of cards crumbles.

Everyday in America, people fight to keep their darkness. They wrap it around their minds and spirits like a dirty shawl, and while it provides inadequate warmth they are afraid to brave the cold world without it. Darkness comforts and soothes. It provides cover for their fears, and justification for their evil.

Bringing light into this darkness filled world is a dangerous proposition. Allegations, enmity and hatred are on the welcoming committee for those seeking to expose. Challenge the status quo and refuse to succumb to the darkness if you must, but be prepared for the backlash. No one, not your spouse, not your family, not your friends, will abandon their darkness without a fight.

Be careful.




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The Bullshit Must Cease

So, good ol' Uncle Juan got fired?

Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say.

He and his cronies over at Fox can complain all they want, but it's not going to change anything. In a free market society, employers can fire employees if they feel they are not properly representing their companies. Or did Fox News forget that page in the capitalism handbook? Juan Williams said that riding on a plane with anybody who calls themselves a Muslim makes him nervous, and now he won't be saying anything on NPR for quite some time.

Normally, I wouldn't even waste the characters necessary to talk about Juan since who he is and what he represents are well-known commodities. But, as I was watching the television news, they showed a segment from "The View" where the ladies were discussing his dismissal.

First, Whoopi went through her whole routine, where she makes excuses for any racism she agrees with or that is practiced by someone she likes, while simultaneously reserving the right to get all huffy about racism she doesn't like. Whoopi has excused Mel Gibson for his "pack of niggers" debacle and she's encouraged Ted Danson to rock black face, I don't think she's qualified to make accurate assessments of what is and is not racist or bigoted. Agreed?

Anyway, Whoopi trots out the ridiculous idea that since Juan was only talking about his "feelings" on Muslims, then his comments shouldn't have gotten him fired. What kind of ridiculous logic is that? Since when did personal feelings become some sort of protected class of utterances? That's some idiotic bullcrap if I've ever heard it. So, if somebody just expresses their "feelings" they can say whatever the hell they want? Like, if I decided to express my "feeling" that black women who encourage their white boyfriends to wear blackface are despicable coons who should be abducted by the Drop Squad and deprogrammed through repeat beatings that would be okay because it's just my "feelings"?

Do people even use their brains anymore?

Not only was Whoopi allowed to spew this idiocy unchallenged and have it beamed into the homes of millions, it appears that stupidity is contagious because her asinine outburst provoked another one. I don't know the actresses' real name, I just know her as "Debra" from "Everybody Loves Raymond." (My editor says her name is Patricia Heaton. I'll stick with Debra.)

Anyway, speaking as if she was dropping some serious knowledge, she opens her lips to say that if Juan Williams had said riding on a plane with Tea Party members made him nervous, he wouldn't have gotten fired. That's what she said.

Well duh, dumbass.

Nobody has accused Tea Party members of being terrorists and plane hijackers, although their sympathizers have committed acts of terror. Nobody associates the Tea Party movement with 9/11. That's been reserved, unfortunately, for Muslims. But guess what, if Juan Williams had said that as a black man whenever he's in the room with two Tea Party members and a rope, he gets mighty nervous and his neck starts itching, then I'll bet there would have been just as much outrage.

The Tea Party may not be associated with terrorism, but they damn sure are associated with racism, and they damn sure don't appreciate having their entire political movement categorized as racist because of the actions of some of the members. They have loudly proclaimed this fact to the world, including going so far as to denounce the NAACP and its recent report on racism in the party's ranks as a "liberal smear campaign."

Yet, these same people who feel it's unfair to judge all them by the actions of a few (which I don't think is happening. The vast majority of those folks look like bigots to me), are defending the right of Juan Williams to express the same idea about Muslims. And this chick on "The View" gave validation to that viewpoint.

This has got to stop.

 We have way too many people spewing nonsense into the air and not being challenged on it. Both Whoopi and "Debra" made stupid comments, but the folks sitting with them just nodded their heads politely as if they made sense. Either people are really stupid, or they're so conditioned to avoid conflict and disagreement that they will allow almost anything to be said unchallenged. I see it in the media, I see it in regular interactions. People don't want to discuss ideas or beliefs, they just want to get along.

That bullshit must cease.


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LIttle Stuff

A friend of mine sent me a link the other day.

It led to the Kohl's website, and was for a Halloween wig called the "Ghetto Fab Wig." I shook my head ruefully at yet another example of the mistakes big corporations make. Shortly after that, a former classmate posted a blog that called out President Obama and another politician for claiming that assimilation is the true American Dream.

Think about how those incidents work together.

We have a wig marketed as Ghetto Fab. It was a simple Afro wig, and the hair looked like something many natural sister rock on a daily basis. But, for its makers, it was Ghetto Fab.

Next to that, we have two politicians telling people that the way to advance in this country is to assimilate. Submerging yourself in the dominant culture is that path to the American Dream.

So, what exactly those assimilation mean?

Does assimilation require adopting all of the dominant values in America? Does that extend to our values about religion, the proper role of minorities and what constitutes beautiful or normal? Because it's quite obvious that if that's what assimilation means, many minorities will have to willingly sacrifice their cultural heritage and no small measure of self respect.

I'll admit that the word "assimilation" gives me the heebie jeebies. I can't help but get this picture of the Borg trying to make me a part of the hive mind. Assimilation, to me, means total and complete capitulation, and that doesn't interest me at least not when we're talking about human beings.

What are the benefits of assimilation? Many many black people have assimilated into American society. Haven't we adopted white values, white mannerisms and white culture at a staggering pace?

Yet, an Afro wig still gets called "Ghetto Fab" even though Afros and natural hair have nothing to do with the ghetto and everything to do with accepting yourself as God made you. If widespread assimilation among black folks can't even protect us from  "Ghetto Fab" wigs, I'd like some more information on why it's so beneficial.

It's the little things like this that undercut large arguments. Sweeping theories about the world are nice, but they are often exposed as lies when you get down to the most basic level and see how humans interact. Assimilation is held up as the Golden Path, but the truth is that certain folks will never be assimilated. Not because they refuse the process, but because they don't qualify for assimilation according to the majority.

You would think politicians would understand little stuff like that, you know?





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Thinking About Ordinary

My wife seemed shocked.

Somehow, the words I'd just spoken really didn't compute. They made sense to me, in fact they even felt like pearls of wisdom. But to her, they were totally foreign.

"I always thought that was weird," she said.

Now it was my turn to be surprised. Weird? How could she see something so sensible, so correct, so ordinary as weird? On what planet would my suggestion be weird? How could any marriage function abiding by any other rules?

I grew watching my parents fight. Not with fists, but with angry, harsh words. I vowed I would never repeat that mistake.

But, I also grew up watching my parents work at staying married. And they weren't shy about telling my brother and I about their work. They explained the compromises, the agreements. I learned mostly through observation and direct questioning. Slowly, a worldview developed, a blueprint for marriage that I took into my union.

Ah, but blueprints are only plans. Wishful thinking some might say.

Reality often differs from our blueprints. In reality, many of the things I assumed were "ordinary" were far from it. In real life, things rarely went as smoothly as I imagined despite my attempts to plan and discuss every possible eventuality. Talking before committing is a must, but words are only words, and it's actions that matter in a marriage.

Marriage has given me a different outlook on life. I'm still surprised when people see the same world I see but see it totally differently, but now I've learned how to deal with it better. That's what forever will teach you. One of the main lessons I've learned is that the unique nature of every family contributes to to unique nature of every person.

My wife and I disagree often over what is ordinary, acceptable and reasonable, and I'm sure that's common for most couples. But, it extends beyond couples. Most of the disagreements we have in life relate to differences of opinion about what is ordinary, acceptable and reasonable. Call it the Oar Effect.

More people need to admit that their worldview is just their worldview. It's important to them, but that doesn't give it any special degree of importance to the rest of the world. If we want other people to respect and appreciate our worldview, we must extend that same courtesy to others. It's ridiculous how many of us refuse to extend the same respect we demand for ourselves.

Let's make that ordinary.


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