Y'all noticed that the subtitle of my blog labels me as part of a long tradition of angry black men in America.
Truthfully, in real life I'm a fairly jovial fellow, particularly around people I know and trust. My friends will tell you I am often irreverent and sarcastic, but rarely cruel. While I am full of opinions and love a great debate, I also can listen to people when they need an open ear and a closed mouth.
But those are people who know me.
Strangers typically find me to be quiet and stuck-up. In my travels through cyberspace I've been labeled an angry, race-baiter for some of my stances. I used to relish the confrontations my viewpoints would inspire, but now I try to avoid those arguments because I'm not that interested in conversing with certain folks.
A common comment I've seen from a lot of white folks and folks who identify with white folks, is that they are annoyed and disturbed by the anger and bitterness black folks often display. As Rev. Wright has shown the world, black folks can get a little excited when they are recounting the evils done in this country throughout the years. Unfortunately, not only does that subject matter displease a lot of folks, but the "tone" doesn't sit too well either.
My brother and I were discussing the way black anger is received in this country the other night, and we agreed on a simple explanation. Mainstream America really doesn't think black folks have earned the right to complain.
I'm sure most of you have seen this manifested in your lives, and Pat Buchanan wrote a wonderful letter recently for those of you who didn't get the earlier memos. The lack of respect for the complaints of black people is easily visible in the way they are handled.
Black people's complaints about systemic racism are counteracted by anecdotes about personal discrimination. Black people's complaints about individual injustice are minimized by statistics about the overall advancement of the black race. It's a racial Catch-22, that has existed for centuries.
Eventually, if they are lucky, black folks who complain enough are told about the drain their race places on this country through its dependence on welfare and its overrepresentation in the prison system. Basically, we get asked "What are you all bringing to the table?"
I'm not going to bother with giving a historical breakdown of what black folks have brought to America's table because I assume that most of y'all are pretty familiar with the litany. But, it really piqued my interest that so many white people could think black people were a race of moochers.
Seriously, I know that the media, Hollywood and racists have pushed the stereotype of black people as lazy, roustabouts, but I just can't believe that people are willing to ingest those lies when contradictory information is right in front of their faces. I know that most neighborhoods in the country are still pretty segregated, but you would think that white folks have seen enough black people working somewhere to figure out that we aren't allergic to labor.
Combine that with the fact that many, MANY people still living in America witnessed black folks diligently struggle at the most menial tasks because discrimination barred them from better jobs, and you just have to wonder, WTF?
Given this country's history and its present condition, you would think that if any group had earned the right to complain based on hard work, it would be black folks. Shoot, I think our ancestors paid enough tolls for all of us, but even if they didn't, black folks are still earning their keep today.
Yet, it seems that mainstream America was never alerted to this reality. Instead, scores of Americans think black people always want something handed to them. It's such a popular lie, that you'll even hear black folks themselves repeating it.
What magical tasks do black people have to complete to become white? Are they like the challenges of Hercules? Any of y'all know where I can find the list?
I need to get cracking on earning my Justified Anger card.
Pay Attention
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Thursday, May 1, 2008
A Trip Down Lover's Lane.
I'm intrigued by this.
Whenever I watch Barack and Michelle Obama together, I see an exemplary example of black love.
It's inspiring to watch two black people have a healthy and seemingly happy relationship. Now, I understand that I know very little about the actual state of their union, but from what I've gathered from speeches, Barack's books and observation they seem to have something special.
Anybody who has every been in a relationship understands how hard it is to stay together and that pressure only increases once you get married. There are a myriad of stumbling blocks on the road to marital bliss for everyone, and most black people believe that things are even harder for us.
Racism, discrimination, sexism and a host of other societal factors have combined to make black love seem like a distant dream for many people. We've all seen the chilling statistics about how many black children are born out of wedlock and how many black women will never get married. Shoot, many black magazines sustain themselves financially by frightening women into believing that their black Prince Charming does not exist, and then encouraging them try some white meat.
So, when I see two black people who have managed to make things work despite the odds, well it feels good. It's the same feeling I get when I contemplate my parent's marriage, my in-laws marriage, or all those old black couples that have sat in the pews of the churches I've attended. When I see those older people still together it gives me strength to stay the course in my own marriage, and to quietly correct the "woe is me" attitude that seems to infecting young people.
This may be unfair, but I often find myself contrasting the relationship of Barack and Michelle to the marriage of Bill and Hillary or John and Cindy. I must say, when I look at those three relationships, it jumps out at me that the Obamas seem to have the most healthy partnership.
The infidelity of Billy Boy is legend, and most Democrats know that McCain left his ill wife to shack up with Cindy. But, even if I ignore those past foibles in their relationships just watching the McCains and Clintons now I don't see the same level of affection and admiration that I see when I watch Michelle and Obama.
I don't know about y'all, but when I see the way Obama treats his wife, and the way she adores him, well it makes me more confident in trusting him as commander-in-chief. That may sound stupid to some, but in my mind if the person who has seen all your hideous warts and listened to all of your dumb comments can still look at you with that special gleam in their eyes, then that tells me that there is something right about you as a man.
I have no doubt that Obama is a flawed husband; all men are flawed husbands. And there are some who cynically wonder if he picked out his wife with an eye towards a political career because she provides him with cache in the black community that he might have never attained on his own.
Yet, I scoff at that notion. I'm sure Obama was drawn to his wife because of her connection to "regular" black folks, but I think that's because he has made it clear that early in his life he hungered for a connection with our community. From what I've seen, Michelle grounds him, she challenges him and, most importantly, she loves him.
It's a beautiful thing to watch.
Whenever I watch Barack and Michelle Obama together, I see an exemplary example of black love.
It's inspiring to watch two black people have a healthy and seemingly happy relationship. Now, I understand that I know very little about the actual state of their union, but from what I've gathered from speeches, Barack's books and observation they seem to have something special.
Anybody who has every been in a relationship understands how hard it is to stay together and that pressure only increases once you get married. There are a myriad of stumbling blocks on the road to marital bliss for everyone, and most black people believe that things are even harder for us.
Racism, discrimination, sexism and a host of other societal factors have combined to make black love seem like a distant dream for many people. We've all seen the chilling statistics about how many black children are born out of wedlock and how many black women will never get married. Shoot, many black magazines sustain themselves financially by frightening women into believing that their black Prince Charming does not exist, and then encouraging them try some white meat.
So, when I see two black people who have managed to make things work despite the odds, well it feels good. It's the same feeling I get when I contemplate my parent's marriage, my in-laws marriage, or all those old black couples that have sat in the pews of the churches I've attended. When I see those older people still together it gives me strength to stay the course in my own marriage, and to quietly correct the "woe is me" attitude that seems to infecting young people.
This may be unfair, but I often find myself contrasting the relationship of Barack and Michelle to the marriage of Bill and Hillary or John and Cindy. I must say, when I look at those three relationships, it jumps out at me that the Obamas seem to have the most healthy partnership.
The infidelity of Billy Boy is legend, and most Democrats know that McCain left his ill wife to shack up with Cindy. But, even if I ignore those past foibles in their relationships just watching the McCains and Clintons now I don't see the same level of affection and admiration that I see when I watch Michelle and Obama.
I don't know about y'all, but when I see the way Obama treats his wife, and the way she adores him, well it makes me more confident in trusting him as commander-in-chief. That may sound stupid to some, but in my mind if the person who has seen all your hideous warts and listened to all of your dumb comments can still look at you with that special gleam in their eyes, then that tells me that there is something right about you as a man.
I have no doubt that Obama is a flawed husband; all men are flawed husbands. And there are some who cynically wonder if he picked out his wife with an eye towards a political career because she provides him with cache in the black community that he might have never attained on his own.
Yet, I scoff at that notion. I'm sure Obama was drawn to his wife because of her connection to "regular" black folks, but I think that's because he has made it clear that early in his life he hungered for a connection with our community. From what I've seen, Michelle grounds him, she challenges him and, most importantly, she loves him.
It's a beautiful thing to watch.
E is for Ego
Never underestimate the fragility of the male ego.
We men love to make fun of the sensitivity of women, but that's just a smokescreen to hide our own vulnerability. It doesn't take much to make a man feel that his masculinity has been challenged and his manhood compromised.
Those of you who attended public school remember how easy it was to get a fight started among boys with just the hint of a mother joke. Often it only took the phrase "Yo momma" to come out of somebody's mouth before young men were blooding each other to prove they weren't punks.
Unfortunately, this behavior carries over to adulthood where men fight and even kill each other over a hard stare. Men may snicker about how easily the friendships of women can collapse, but nobody holds a grudge like a man. We will harbor ill feelings towards another man for years; quietly seething even after we've forgotten the details of the initial slight.
I thought about the male ego as I watched the recent Obama vs. Rev. Wright controversy play out on national television.
I've heard the arguments on both sides. Some folks feel Wright crossed a boundary with his remarks to the National Press Club; that he did not display proper decorum and he was more interested in preening in the spotlight than making any real point. Others feel Obama's willingness to abandon his pastor of two decades is a sign of a serious character defect and they wonder how long they will have to watch him humbly accept the double standards placed on him in this campaign.
I can't decide who is right.
But, I've decided that the most ignored aspect of this whole ordeal is also the root cause of the problem. My observations of Wright and Obama have led me to believe that they are two highly educated, intelligent and prideful men. While Wright may be more boisterous, both he and Obama exude a confidence that demonstrates their extremely high feelings of self-worth. I think both men rarely meet another human being that they feel is their superior.
And that's why we have our current problem.
My belief is that Rev. Wright felt slighted when Barack Obama gave his amazing speech on race and painted Wright's comments during some of his sermons as being beyond what any right thinking American could ever espouse. As the holder of multiple degrees, an avid reader and an expert in his chosen field, I'm sure Wright found it demeaning to have his views dismissed as "profoundly distorted" as Obama did in his speech.
Look, I loved Obama's speech, but I also believed that the majority of the comments made by Wright were excellent and pertinent. I thought Wright's remarks showed the type of insight that I would expect out of any man of God, and his willingness to express those generally unpopular feelings was admirable.
However, the people who will have to support Barack Obama in order for him to be president do not currently agree with Rev. Wright, and probably will never agree with him. That's just a fact. So, in order for Obama to have any chance to win he needed to make it very difficult for a white person to argue that he agreed with Wright's comments.
And I firmly believe that Obama's decision hurt his former pastor, which in turn led to this characterization of Obama.
In turn, I'm really starting to believe that Obama is one of the most optimist but realistic black people in this country. Maybe it's his experiences as a child, or maybe he's just built differently than most black people, but he seems to really have avoided a lot of the pessimism that infects most black folks. Initially, I thought he was fronting a little bit, but the more this campaign drags on, the more I think this is real.
Consequently, I think Obama's ego was bruised by Wright's attempt to label him as just another politician doing what politician's do. As I've said before, I believe Obama is a politician and behaves like one in many ways, but I also think there is something special about him that is atypical. Dennis Kucinich is a politician, but nobody would call him typical.
I also feel that every black person sets their own guidelines for what constitutes an acceptable reaction when faced with white racism. Clearly, Wright and Obama react differently, and neither of them appreciated the other's dismissal of their reactions as phony or ineffective.
Obama obviously felt betrayed by his longtime pastor, and he may have taken Wright's comment as a personal affront to his manhood. Obama also was perturbed by Wright's decision to come forward with his newest comments now; at a pivotal and troubled time in his campaign. Anger bubbled to the surface in Obama's respone.
Obama and Wright both have very real and justified feelings of betrayal. Neither one of them is completely right or wrong. Sometimes you can disagree with people you love and those disagreements can cause pain that you never expected.
But, in this case I think both men have let their expansive egos take over for their immense intellects. Their grievances are real, but they let things go too far; they let things escalate for too long.
Personal pride made it difficult for either of them to truly see and understand the other's pain, and to tailor their responses to address that. More importantly, they allowed media jackals to intrude upon what should have been a private relationship and twist each person's comments until they became hurtful.
A presidential campaign is an intense furnace that can both eliminate dross and also destroy precious materials. It's truly unfortunate that Obama and Wright allowd the heat of the election to distort their feelings because it is yet another victory for the divide and conquer strategy preferred by white supremacists and those who support their theories.
It is disturbing to watch two highly intelligent men allow themselves to be guided onto a path that benefits neither of them, and gives comfort to those parties that undermine their common causes. It's disturbing, but it's honestly not that surprising. Far too many friendships between men have suffered under similar circumstances and far too many will suffer in the future.
That damn ego is a powerful thing.
(Update: Bob Herbert agrees with me)
We men love to make fun of the sensitivity of women, but that's just a smokescreen to hide our own vulnerability. It doesn't take much to make a man feel that his masculinity has been challenged and his manhood compromised.
Those of you who attended public school remember how easy it was to get a fight started among boys with just the hint of a mother joke. Often it only took the phrase "Yo momma" to come out of somebody's mouth before young men were blooding each other to prove they weren't punks.
Unfortunately, this behavior carries over to adulthood where men fight and even kill each other over a hard stare. Men may snicker about how easily the friendships of women can collapse, but nobody holds a grudge like a man. We will harbor ill feelings towards another man for years; quietly seething even after we've forgotten the details of the initial slight.
I thought about the male ego as I watched the recent Obama vs. Rev. Wright controversy play out on national television.
I've heard the arguments on both sides. Some folks feel Wright crossed a boundary with his remarks to the National Press Club; that he did not display proper decorum and he was more interested in preening in the spotlight than making any real point. Others feel Obama's willingness to abandon his pastor of two decades is a sign of a serious character defect and they wonder how long they will have to watch him humbly accept the double standards placed on him in this campaign.
I can't decide who is right.
But, I've decided that the most ignored aspect of this whole ordeal is also the root cause of the problem. My observations of Wright and Obama have led me to believe that they are two highly educated, intelligent and prideful men. While Wright may be more boisterous, both he and Obama exude a confidence that demonstrates their extremely high feelings of self-worth. I think both men rarely meet another human being that they feel is their superior.
And that's why we have our current problem.
My belief is that Rev. Wright felt slighted when Barack Obama gave his amazing speech on race and painted Wright's comments during some of his sermons as being beyond what any right thinking American could ever espouse. As the holder of multiple degrees, an avid reader and an expert in his chosen field, I'm sure Wright found it demeaning to have his views dismissed as "profoundly distorted" as Obama did in his speech.
Look, I loved Obama's speech, but I also believed that the majority of the comments made by Wright were excellent and pertinent. I thought Wright's remarks showed the type of insight that I would expect out of any man of God, and his willingness to express those generally unpopular feelings was admirable.
However, the people who will have to support Barack Obama in order for him to be president do not currently agree with Rev. Wright, and probably will never agree with him. That's just a fact. So, in order for Obama to have any chance to win he needed to make it very difficult for a white person to argue that he agreed with Wright's comments.
And I firmly believe that Obama's decision hurt his former pastor, which in turn led to this characterization of Obama.
Politicians say what they say and do what they do based on electability, based on sound bites, based on polls, Huffington, whoever's doing the polls. Preachers say what they say because they're pastors. They have a different person to whom they're accountable.
As I said, whether he gets elected or not, I'm still going to have to be answerable to God November 5th and January 21st. That's what I mean. I do what pastors do. He does what politicians do.
In turn, I'm really starting to believe that Obama is one of the most optimist but realistic black people in this country. Maybe it's his experiences as a child, or maybe he's just built differently than most black people, but he seems to really have avoided a lot of the pessimism that infects most black folks. Initially, I thought he was fronting a little bit, but the more this campaign drags on, the more I think this is real.
Consequently, I think Obama's ego was bruised by Wright's attempt to label him as just another politician doing what politician's do. As I've said before, I believe Obama is a politician and behaves like one in many ways, but I also think there is something special about him that is atypical. Dennis Kucinich is a politician, but nobody would call him typical.
I also feel that every black person sets their own guidelines for what constitutes an acceptable reaction when faced with white racism. Clearly, Wright and Obama react differently, and neither of them appreciated the other's dismissal of their reactions as phony or ineffective.
Obama obviously felt betrayed by his longtime pastor, and he may have taken Wright's comment as a personal affront to his manhood. Obama also was perturbed by Wright's decision to come forward with his newest comments now; at a pivotal and troubled time in his campaign. Anger bubbled to the surface in Obama's respone.
...At a certain point, if what somebody says contradicts what you believe so fundamentally, and then he questions whether or not you believe it in front of the National Press Club, then that’s enough. That’s a show of disrespect to me. It is also, I think, an insult to what we’ve been trying to do in this campaign...
Obama and Wright both have very real and justified feelings of betrayal. Neither one of them is completely right or wrong. Sometimes you can disagree with people you love and those disagreements can cause pain that you never expected.
But, in this case I think both men have let their expansive egos take over for their immense intellects. Their grievances are real, but they let things go too far; they let things escalate for too long.
Personal pride made it difficult for either of them to truly see and understand the other's pain, and to tailor their responses to address that. More importantly, they allowed media jackals to intrude upon what should have been a private relationship and twist each person's comments until they became hurtful.
A presidential campaign is an intense furnace that can both eliminate dross and also destroy precious materials. It's truly unfortunate that Obama and Wright allowd the heat of the election to distort their feelings because it is yet another victory for the divide and conquer strategy preferred by white supremacists and those who support their theories.
It is disturbing to watch two highly intelligent men allow themselves to be guided onto a path that benefits neither of them, and gives comfort to those parties that undermine their common causes. It's disturbing, but it's honestly not that surprising. Far too many friendships between men have suffered under similar circumstances and far too many will suffer in the future.
That damn ego is a powerful thing.
(Update: Bob Herbert agrees with me)
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Sometimes It Slips Out
Occasionally, folks let their real feelings slip out in public. As Americans, we've been conditioned not to say certain things in front of certain people, but sometimes we just can't help ourselves. We get angry, we get frustrated and BOOM, we say some stuff we later regret.
This guy in Philly had one of those moments recently.
Poor fellow, his comment was actually a condemnation of the racism rampant in the PA General Assembly, and the hypocrisy of bans on gay marriage. Yet, it didn't come out that way. Nope, it came out like he was saying the General Assembly support slavery, and well, that's unfortunate.
I just hope this doesn't distract him from fighting those 139 corruption charges.
(Hat tip to my homie Dave Parks for putting me on to this.)
This guy in Philly had one of those moments recently.
Poor fellow, his comment was actually a condemnation of the racism rampant in the PA General Assembly, and the hypocrisy of bans on gay marriage. Yet, it didn't come out that way. Nope, it came out like he was saying the General Assembly support slavery, and well, that's unfortunate.
I just hope this doesn't distract him from fighting those 139 corruption charges.
(Hat tip to my homie Dave Parks for putting me on to this.)
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