tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6803135128442396638.post2981831911543386094..comments2023-10-31T06:20:45.622-05:00Comments on Raving Black Lunatic: Me, Me, MeBig Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02510881583909431416noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6803135128442396638.post-90141378140750487132011-04-26T11:02:48.880-05:002011-04-26T11:02:48.880-05:00Anonymous
Nearly every man I have ever met has mad...Anonymous<br />Nearly every man I have ever met has made a lascivious comment to a strange woman on the street, in the club or in some other public setting. And the vast majority of them rarely see anything wrong with it.<br />You could argue that I need to change my circles, and I would argue that my circles are plenty wide.Big Manhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02510881583909431416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6803135128442396638.post-42390067953545990762011-04-25T21:44:16.453-05:002011-04-25T21:44:16.453-05:00Defending cat-calling or street harassment isn'...Defending cat-calling or street harassment isn't something most men would do, I don't think. I think you've got to be a pretty bad and aggressive objectifier to do so at all. I think it's funny how black feminists expect so little out of black men and so much out of every other kind of men. Expecting men not to embarrass and intimidate women on the street is not a lot to ask. Women should never be made to feel intimidated by men wanting to get in their pants. Enough with the rape culture.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6803135128442396638.post-71852195082177193632011-04-11T14:39:07.679-05:002011-04-11T14:39:07.679-05:00Exactly Eli.
That's exactly how it works for m...Exactly Eli.<br />That's exactly how it works for me. Whenever I'm having trouble grasping someone else's pain or complaint, I try to turn their complaint into something more personal to me, then assess my feelings. <br />It typically works.Big Manhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02510881583909431416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6803135128442396638.post-57945588087544059612011-04-11T13:25:57.654-05:002011-04-11T13:25:57.654-05:00What a great post. I'm a white woman and recen...What a great post. I'm a white woman and recently went through this process in the other direction...I experience street harassment almost daily where I live and it was/is frustrating to know that despite their best efforts to understand and sympathize, many of my male friends just *don't see* what I and many other women deal with all the time -- and *don't see* how some of their behavior exists on the same continuum as that of the harassers and thus could be perceived as threatening. It was truly sobering the first time I thought about racial harassment, as you say, in those same terms and realized that there are whole spectrums of threatening behavior and interactions experienced my non-white people that I just *don't see* and most likely participate in. I'm now trying to hear these stories in the same way that I hope that men will hear mine.Elinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6803135128442396638.post-36752149250774645522011-04-06T09:59:27.365-05:002011-04-06T09:59:27.365-05:00Great post. I really like the way you describe me...Great post. I really like the way you describe mentally putting yourself in the position of the group that's being mistreated. t's so important for guys to weigh in on this issue ... thanks for taking the time! And yes, it is "big".jonhttp://talesfromthe.net/jonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6803135128442396638.post-60038683873647025772011-04-05T12:20:50.229-05:002011-04-05T12:20:50.229-05:00I don't think it was that "big."
Ser...I don't think it was that "big."<br />Seriously, it's something all of us should do in every situation. I was actually pretty ashamed of my reaction to the complaints about street harassment. I was trying to rationalize and minimize it, even though I know people who deal with all the time. <br />I finally had to understand that it happens, even if I don't notice or see it, and it's quite scary for many people. <br />It was only hard to accept becauase I didn't really want to believe it. The evidence was all there.Big Manhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02510881583909431416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6803135128442396638.post-5241012924574572182011-04-05T11:46:23.039-05:002011-04-05T11:46:23.039-05:00This is a brave piece and truly makes you a big ma...This is a brave piece and truly makes you a big man for having the wherewithal to look deep inside yourself.Blackgirlinmainehttp://blackgirlinmaine.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6803135128442396638.post-62073584493095078092011-04-05T10:44:23.477-05:002011-04-05T10:44:23.477-05:00As always you hit the nail on its head. Thanks for...As always you hit the nail on its head. Thanks for another thought-provoking post.lifelearnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16957099180619080413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6803135128442396638.post-60391299954101179972011-04-04T21:56:48.686-05:002011-04-04T21:56:48.686-05:00I really appreciate this post because I have too o...I really appreciate this post because I have too often seen street harassment minimized or explained away by men except when it comes to a woman that they care about.Reneehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16388113393817266374noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6803135128442396638.post-55806604227296560662011-04-04T21:49:57.160-05:002011-04-04T21:49:57.160-05:00I wrote a blog similar to this. I mentioned that l...I wrote a blog similar to this. I mentioned that like whites have privileges above other groups, especially blacks, I, as a man, have privileges over women. To go even further as a black man I have privileges over black women.<br /><br />I felt defensive when I discovered that I have privileges over my sisters. I figured how can an oppressed group have privileges? The truth is that we do, and it must be acknowledged. It was born from the mindset of being "naturally" superior to women. Therefore, men will believe that a woman's mind and heart mean very little, but her body is valuable (enough) for men to use as he pleases. <br /><br />And that isn't right. <br /><br />Even as a good man like myself, my perceptions on morality are still warped by the privileges I have over women. Despite who I am, I must realize that women are still suffering from injustices due to a society of male dominance which created privileges in its wake. Privileges blind those from the reality others live in.Blaque Inkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18044177158819953392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6803135128442396638.post-10651924016311049742011-04-04T21:33:15.718-05:002011-04-04T21:33:15.718-05:00Nicely done - thanks for sharing your process here...Nicely done - thanks for sharing your process here. I haven't read your blog before, but I hope you share your wisdom with young men out there. Lots of them could use your perspective.tonisjadinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01833941355064776688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6803135128442396638.post-77611353182482494112011-04-04T20:12:40.333-05:002011-04-04T20:12:40.333-05:00Really appreciated this piece of writing.Really appreciated this piece of writing.seitzkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16383559351073204534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6803135128442396638.post-55438967950676864852011-04-04T19:25:45.381-05:002011-04-04T19:25:45.381-05:00Thank you for this. It's hard to get outside y...Thank you for this. It's hard to get outside yourself and try and erase your own bias, but something everyone needs to do more, and I try and always do.Fenrirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10805840044921424885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6803135128442396638.post-47486059666280577082011-04-04T17:50:55.965-05:002011-04-04T17:50:55.965-05:00Got here from the Racialicious street harassment p...Got here from the Racialicious street harassment post. I just wanted to say thank you for your honest and thoughtful response. Also, this helps me to understand what's going on in the minds of guys who act like I'm a feminazi when I try to tell them about how just doing my daily business can be a scary experience, or how tired I get of having to cuss someone out when I just want to have a nice afternoon and run my errands. Thanks again for your post.Saranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6803135128442396638.post-63295457222474638862011-04-04T13:41:49.826-05:002011-04-04T13:41:49.826-05:00It takes a "Big Man" to try to put himse...It takes a "Big Man" to try to put himself in someone else's shoes like that, even after initally not getting it. As always, thank you for being so thoughtful, introspective and for putting it into words so well.LisaMJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18063083954078964292noreply@blogger.com